I Rolled My Sleeves Up, Today .....

 The weather's been so lovely here, for a few days or so now, today I actually rolled my sleeves up. Then I just got on with what ever it was I was doing. Long enough day of it. Much of it outside and involving wood.

 This evening, I noticed Pat', working in the ditch of the 'Hill' meadow, just outside my gate. Obviously, it's beholden on one to go out there and see what he's doing. If I can help. If he'd like a beer to give him something to sweat with.

 One look at me and he shrieks; " My god! Ye burned! " I'm like, " Wha ....? " Then, getting the idea, I glance down at my bare below the elbow arms.  " Oh. Yeah. S'pose I am ..... "

 Indeed, my arms did look alarmingly like lobsters. Heavily tattooed  lobsters, I'll grant ye. But, distinctly red in between the faded, smudgy ink marks.  I shrugged and forgot the subject. They'll be brown as Spanish tomorrow.

 Yep. Just examining them. They're as brown as red already. 'Strange', that, isn't it? Some people literally 'burn', on exposure to the sun. Some have to spend a carefully moderated week in it, to get a tan.

 Me? I just expose my bloody skin to the stuff and, zip, boosh! I have this chameleon like ability to go brown. I could spend the day, buck naked, tomorrow and end up looking like a ..... well, a darker skinned individual, by tea time.

 Thinking; How many young girls pay good money to lay there, under and on those Sun Bed things? Or rub that orangey coloured shit onto their skin? Load of bollocks.

 No. All they need do, look, is come here and lay, naked, beneath the sun I'm under! Or, I can rub orangey coloured cream all over them?

 They could even try laying under / on me. Perhaps something of what I have may rub off on them? I wouldn't charge!


 Not going to happen though, is it? This is the shitty end of lifes stick, see? I've always been able to get brown. When ye eighteen? It's " Ooh, look! He's got a nice tan. Lean. Tanned. Kinda shy ..... Mmmm, Mmm! "

 Now? It'd be; " Who's the dirty, skinny, dark fukka? Cagey old bastard who looks like he's just come out of a single engined plane from fucking Borneo?  ..... Jesus fucking christ! "

   I reckon, these days,  only Ilse Koch would be interested in my skin .....