Here's Some People I'd Like Ye To Meet .....

  The first is a guy by the name of Vince Smith. I've spoken to Vince, on line, and share forum space with him.

 I can assure ye that he's every bit as nice a bloke as he appears in this short clip. Extremely friendly, good natured and ever willing to help anyone out, if he can.

 I'd also like to point out that his Romanes pronunciation is every bit as dire as his 'taste' in jackets! LMFAO! Love ye to bits, Vince; Now knock 'em dead .....

    The next chap here? I haven't got a clue who or where he is. I just came across this little 'Documentary' on You Tube at: Born A Gypsy  The guy's an absolute ringer for my cousin. But, never mind that. 

 While I'd Hope ye'll watch the whole little film, I can only ask that ye look at the bit where he's just amongst his horses. About  1.25 -1.40. Ask yeself; 'Are they his pride and joy? Does he Love those creatures?' I think his face tells us.

 Finally; I'd ask ye to do one more thing. Next time ye read the Daily Mail, or one of ye work or drinking mates starts foaming at the mouth and ranting on about " Fucking Gypo's / Pikeys "? Ask yeself which one ye'd rather ye kids took their cues from.

 Thank you.

 

Hands of the Strangler .....

  I'm in Hugh's, the Butchers today. We're just finishing a good chat and I'm about to leave when some guy comes in and proclaims; 

  " Aaah! The man who'll catch all the rats!  ..... Now, tell me, friend; How do ye catch and kill all these rats? "

 Guy was perfectly serious, of course. People just carry on that way here. So, I answered him perfectly seriously, of course:

 " I strangle them! "

He's, like; " Be' Jesus!!! Ye strangle  them ....?! "

 " Yeah, " I says. " And will ye just look at the state they leave my fucking hands in! All their biting me, as I strangle them! "

 Held up my hand, for him to see.

  Guy was fuckin' mortified, of course. There I stood. Living proof of my own legend. Scars to prove it.


 This shit's in my blood, see? All of it. My Dad taught me my first steps in rat catching. That's true. I knew the principles, plus, before I even had my first day at school. But, that's all taught and learned shit. This, as I say, is in my blood.

  Gypsys 'Tell Fortunes'. Yeah? Well, in Romanes, the one time language of the Gypsys, it's called " Dookerin' ". Look up an " Anglo Romani Dictionary " sort of effort and ye'll find it there. 'Dookering. Dookripen. Dooka. Ducka.' Fucka. 

    It's all bollocks, really. Ask any Gypsy who knows enough of the old language to have a clue and they could tell ye. " Dookering " means Bullshitting! Blarney. Gift of the gab. That's all it is. All it ever was. It's natural to the blood. Repartee. 


 The state of my hands? 'Rat Strangling', my arse! That was in my blood too. Just had a spot of that  'Prickly Heat' shit, a week back. Scratched so much I almost ripped myself to fucking pieces!


 But there's an insight into the ancient Gypsy art of 'Bull Shitzu'. The ability to spin on a pin head. Using what ever's to hand to ones advantage. 

 I have only felt free to pass on this arcane  knowledge after long contemplation of the demise of Brian Plummer. Otherwise, he'd probably have heard of all this and bred a 'Pit Bull' cross Shitzu. Called it the " Traditional Romani Fighting Dog " and written books about it. 

  That would have, no doubt, further boiled Lloydys piss ~ already hot enough, with all that Shiraz and curry. Likely wouldn't have done my own blood a lot of good either. 

 But, there it is. Plummer's dead. Phil and I can't be too far behind him now. How ye'll gnash and wail when we're All gone, eh? Who then to entertain ye?

 Now I must go. Keep getting these texts from some bird who wants to interview me on TV .....

 Ye think I'm joking, don't ye ....? 

 

Well; I've Finally Seen .....

" Snatch ". What can I say? Yeppers; Brilliant film. I love that 'freeze frame on a frozen expression ' form of direction. I'm now totally at home with Brad Pitt ~ it's that other lemon that gets on my nerves. What's his bloody name now? Sean Penn! Can't stand him. Tries to pull off every facial expression Bob de Nero uses; All five of them!

Anyway, as the last guy over fifteen years of age not to have seen it; I have now. You all have, so I won't bore ye with my opinion. Nor do I fancy myself as a film critic. Just to say that, when the Dog ate that toy? I was in fuckin' tears! I think it about hit me then, that this was meant to be a hilariously funny film; And it had just become one.

In fact, I think the Dog was my favourite character! When they were all in that room together, just before / after the diamond vanished, and the Dog got excited and started jumping about, biting everyone ..... I'm laughing like a cunt now, just thinking of it! :D Just So sums up what I like in a Dog! Bless him!

All in all? Bloody good film. One I'd be more than happy to see a second time round. And it also confirmed my own, strong suspicion; That it was the root source of so many long since pronounced fucking Brain Dead's coming out of the wood work to utter, " Do ye like Dags? ", every time Gypsys are mentioned!

In fact, just to clear something up here, before I go: What Brad and the boys were 'speaking' in that film was not " Gypsy ", " Pikey ", " Irish 'Pikey' " or anything else remotely related. Ok? English Gypsys speak a mixture of every day words, mixed together with some Romany words.

Granted, they may mumble it, in your presence. They may actually have broad accents from their home county. They may also tend to speak so damn fast ye couldn't catch half of it, no matter what. But, That wasn't it.

Irish Gypsys speak a form of Gaelic which you and I would find incomprehensible, regardless. " Mickey " and his mates weren't speaking anything like Gaelic.

No. Just as I once saw on an old episode of " The Sweeney ", when Regan and Carter tried to interrogate some english Gypsys; The guys portraying the Gypsys just spoke utter, ad libbed bollocks! It was fascinating to listen to! LOL!

I'm quite sure " Snatch " used an Irish based 'accent' and they had to each have a clue what the other was saying, because they so often repeated it in unison. But, it was Still bollocks. Not 'Gypsy Language' ;-)