More Ill Winds From Japan .....

  Last year, I showed this, fucking hysterical, thing about the Fart Fights seemingly supposed to have taken place in feudal Japan:

Clicky. 

  Well, last night, I was bored enough to figure I'd go find some bit of nonsense on Netflix. I didn't want to have to listen or pay too much attention. Just be distracted and amused.

  What I ended up watching was some bit of tat from 2012. Called " The ABCs of Death ". Described as:

"  An anthology of stories helmed by more than two dozen directors details 26 ways to die, each corresponding to a different letter of the alphabet. "

  Frankly? It's really entirely up to you whether or not ye want to sit through it all. It's pretty gruelling, to be honest. 

  However, if Japanese Farting makes ye giggle, especially after a few pints? Then I really must Insist that ye scuttle off to ye favourite 'Watch shit for free, on line' site and check out this film! I've just checked: It's widely available out there.

  Only, fast forward to the 26 and a half minute mark. Then ignore what ever ye seeing the tail end of. Because the next one is Japanese. And, I assure ye: It'll blow you away!!! 

  Jesus christ! I just watched it again now, just to be sure; Yes! Even stone cold sober, in broad daylight? I'm trying to get my fucking head round what I've just seen!

  What the fucking hell makes these people tick?! 

Wondering; About The Countries .....

 I've noticed my little thing, on the left there, is now saying we've had visitors from forty nine separate countries round the world. Just wondering which the fiftieth will be. Anyone care to take a shot at it? Damned if I'd know.

 It's quite accurate, actually. I used to check them against my own stat site. That reaffirmed we'd taken a hit from where ever, independent of that gadget. I don't bother looking now. Just accept it. It works.

 Shame there's only been two from Japan. I'd like to see more. Then I could fantasise about how I was striking a cord with some knee weakening young Japanese chicks! Like they had it for me like I have it for them. LOL! We can all dream!

 Boring bit is the one hit wonders from the lesser thought about places. In my boredom, I've tracked a couple of them back to where they found us from.

 Sadly, nine times out of ten, it's from some stupid link somewhere, promising to make them money or else drive up traffic to their own sites. Poor buggers in the back of beyond, trying desperately to grab some " Google Adsence ", I guess?

 I dunno. I'm always wondering if there's any way I can make the scheme of this place any better. Blatting ye with fucking advert's is simply never going to happen, that's for sure!

 No. I'm just looking for a way to. maybe, make the shit on here more accessible for ye. What ever. I mean; Clicking that bloody retro link at the bottom right has to be a bind. Things like that.

 Just don't really have the time or the savvy to go into it too much. Any one knows anything? Feel free to give me a shout. Ye never know ..... 

" You Never Know To Whom You're Talking. "

Anyone here into Steeleye Span ? Maybe one or two of the more mature readers may have, as I have, fond memories of Maddy Prior and the lads on stage. Either way, I'm sure Most of ye are familiar with their " Gaudete ". If not, I'd hope at least some bloody radio or tv station will bring it to ye in the coming weeks.

Anyway, I'm not really here to talk about dear old Steeleye'. They're just an introduction to another thought that popped into my head here. See, they also recorded a track called " The Black Freighter ". And the origins of that have haunted me for bloody decades now ~ untill just now, that is. We never had Google back in the 70's!

And That's where I get the title of this chat from. Because ye Don't! Here's the craic .....

Back in the day, in Portsmouth, I was a nightly visitor to a certain, family run Off Licence. The Proprietress was a lady, name of Lorna. Lorna probably had five to ten on me. But she also had a vague shadow of the Japanese look about her. Just something about her, looking back. And ~ again, pre pc days, I simply hadn't been exposed to the stomach tightening world of Japanese girls back then. So, I just knew that Lorna gave me the haunch!

Anyway, I digress ..... I was always in there, because Lorna, bless her, got on with me like a house on fire. Thus, knowing I was an alchy, and permanently skint, she allowed me an on going slate. I could pick up a bottle of 'White Lightening' and half ounce of 'Golden', then pay her off when I had it. Next night, I'd be back. No embarrassment. No old fashioned looks. Lorna knew she could always trust me.

Well, obviously, we chatted too. I'd hang around and chat with her for probably half an hour, most nights ~ at least until the urge to take my stuff off licence and get started over took me. And that's how I came to know ..... Was it Sid or Stan? I'm damn sure it was one or the other.

Let's go with 'Sid'. Sid, it would seem, was another bugger for the bottle. Older than me. He was a short, squat, toad like, sweaty and unkempt looking old guy. Red faced. Gray haired. He looked every bit the sort of bloke who shambled home to a grotty, dingy god knows where and settled down, in his squalor.

Perhaps he did? God knows. I never got to know Sid that well. But, as ye do, we came to be on nodding terms at least. And thus I picked up a hint or two about Sid, from my brother. I'd dabbled with Martial Arts in my time. My Bro' too was sniffing. Thus he heard about Sid and had told me.

That's why, during one chat with Lorna, I'd pointed out to her that the bloke she wanted round, should it ever kick off in her little side street Offy, was our Sid. " He'd fuckin' look after ye! ". I assured her.

Lorna was aghast. " What? Sid?! That stocky, shabby little bloke? He always just struck me as a ..... well ..... "

Yes. Me too. Only my Bro' had a Lot of respect for the guy. Lot of people did. And, having fell in with our Sid one night, as we both wandered back to our individual holes, to indulge our private needs, stopping off on our parting corner, Sid had a little moan to me:

" They want me to go back to Japan. They want me to take another fucking Dan Grading. This'd be my Eighth Dan ..... ". I tried not to thrust my own knuckles into my mouth. I'm thinking like; 'Jesus Wept! And you do Jiu Jitsu? Japanese Jiu Jitsu?! That's the Really Vicious shit. No fancy, flying kicks. You just Grind Meat and Bone!!! '.

For those of ye who don't know about this shit? " Black Belt ". Ye know That shit right enough, yeah? Well, a Black Belt comes with ye First " Dan " level grading. Ye belt gets 'Blacker', the more hideously dangerous ye become. First Dan 'Black Belt'? Nightmare for the common man. Second Dan? Even more lethal. And, there's only Ten fucking Dan's ye can take! Sid (or Stan) was being begged back to Japan, to take his Eighth ~ might have been Ninth. My memory .....

Scary. Half a dozen 'Chav' types, with their knives and broken bottles, ever blocked Sid's path, in a Portsmouth back alleyway? He'd just put them through the mincer. Moving steadily forward. Mangling. Destroying. Spitting out.

People should have more respect. " You never know to whom you're talking. ".

Singapore On The Map!

Yeppers. It's genuine. I thought it was Thailand, at first ~ Creepy thought. Not a great deal of much worth seems to emanate from Thailand, when ye think about it ~ But, no. I checked. It was Singapore and they were checking out my Log.

Just noticed Japan too? I don't remember them. I have a Lot of time for Japan. Produce the most gorgeous females on the entire fucking planet! Shame they shrivel up so fast and end up looking like dried apricots :-(

Bottom line? I'd give my right arm to fuck one. But Fuck marrying one! :o