So; This Old Guy Came Home .....

Story I heard from Hugh, my Butcher, today .....

So, this old guy came home one night. He's in his eighties. Lives in a cottage much like my own. Isolated as all fuck. No one else around. Only, he has a wife.

But, the wife's away somewhere on this night. so, before going out alone the guy's locked up the property.

Gets home, about 01:00 in the morning. Gets out of the motor. It's a moonless and so pitch black night, just like we've had here, last couple of nights back. Couldn't see his hand in front of his face. And it's about February, so it's fucking Freezing cold out there.

Drops his door keys!

Can't see the ground he's stumbling around on, never mind the fucking keys. Scrabbles about endlessly. Nuff'n!

Nearest neighbour is way away. He'd likely break his neck in a ditch if he tried to grope his way there. If they were in? They might well have took him as an intruder ..... Guy couldn't work out how to use the mobile phone he had. Even if it had any juice. He just took the rare call on it.

He was a bit 'Portly' as well as being in his eighties. While he may have managed to break a small window on his cottage; No way would he be able to pour himself through it and remain in good order on the other side.

Nothing else for it. He got back into his motor and sat there, all night. No keys, remember. So he couldn't start the engine / heater. Couldn't drive back to where he'd been, to ask for help. Just fucking sat there, and half froze to death, till morning.

He spent two weeks in hospital. Recovering from hypothermia.

He'd managed to kick his keys under the motor.

Must be a moral in there, somewhere.