My Stables Roof .....

  I need to clear a bottle neck here. I mean, this is Old news! Only, it ~ and what's followed it ~ has become so all encompassing in my life that I've barely been able to think of, much less write of, anything else.

  So, let me tell and show ye about my stables roof. Then I can intersperse with a few more odds and sods, bringing us bang up to date.

  I bought this stable from Pat. Only, it wasn't a stable then. It was an eight cow cow shed and pen. Stone built and asbestos roofed. Long since disused. It, at first, had a Hay Barn (What you may know as a " Dutch Barn ") on one side. A storm tore that down years ago.

  So, there's Donks and Rosie, tucked in there at night. Full time in the winters. Barricaded into the back half. Free access to the pen.

Ye know; I genuinely can't even remember how I tried to keep them back there, before Pat came along and did some wizardry with welding. Next thing, I had a sound gate and a double bay divided for them to feed in.

  Only remaining problem was the roof. The barn collapsing had fractured the asbestos. A winter or twos more Tin Tester gales had done the roof no more good. 

  My horses were now getting water pissed onto their heads and hay.  I was struggling to keep their stored hay out of the leaking areas. Timbers was rotting like pears. Another winter and the whole fucking lot could collapse.

  This was what I was looking at:

  Left of centre, ye can see where the roof's started caving in, look. And see that beam laying there? Encouraging the rain to join it ~ on my horses backs! What's a man to do?

  Off it fucking came then! Was gonna come off anyway. Pat ensured it came off the right way! Then, we made all that abby go away .....

  Days later ~ during good weather ~ I got up to find a team of maniacs on my land! WTF....?! Humping. Hammering. Hefting. 

And then, the old and rotten timbers of my stable roof had been replaced with expertly grafted, brand new, tanalised  stuff!

   In all honesty, I went out there, really just to see what they were up to. Thought I'd better offer them tea, or something.

  You ever actually seen a gang of Irishmen Work?!? It was fucking Scary!!!

  I, obviously, found myself roped into lending someone a hand, helping pass a sheet up, here and there. I was thinking how nice it'd all be, in a few days, when it was finished.

  Like rabid fucking locusts, they were! I've never seen anything like it! Look!

  And did all this clamouring, shouting, banging and bashing faze my horses, as it went off over their heads? 

  What do You think?! Donks couldn't give a fuck about Anything. And Rosie Horse is a perfect example of a Gypsy Cob! " WW3 Above My Head? ..... Fuck It! I see hay! "

   Anyway, yeah; Whole fucking roof was put on in a Morning! Guys I'd never even heard of just turned up out of no where. Then vanished, before I'd even had a chance to ask who they were. Where they'd come from. What they'd like to drink!

   They left me with this:

  In A Morning!!!  I'm still totally aghast. 

  Plasticised steel, that is. Green! I could have had white and saved myself a third of the cost. What, and laid out a fucking great white flag? Like; " Hey! Look! I'm Here! Come check me out! "  Fuck that! No. My green roof melds into the back ground. Worth every extra penny.

  And, for the eagle eyed among ye? Yes, that's a clear plastic skylight, over the far, top end of the roof. Horses now live and feed in dry, bright, daylit space!

There's so much more to add. Much more been done for the horses. More yet to be done. I just don't want this to become a horse oriented Blog. 

  Who fancies a bit of Trail Cam footage next?  

More Work To Do .....

  Remember the fencing I had to do, Here ?

Got that all finished up nicely. Look:

  See how the crafty wire forms an inward carpet? Vegetation'll grow up and through that. Soon just form an invisible and impenetrable Dog Barrier.

  And here's the long side of that stand of bushes:

  See? Bush is already thrusting through the stock fencing and hiding it. I'll hedge trim to within a few inches of the fence, in future. Be a wall of green, hiding the fence buried within.

  Fucking great, it is! I can now just let the Dogs out, in the morning, and pretty much leave them to their own devices.  They've somehow decided, of their own volition, that 'up the back' is off limits. Maybe because I no longer go there? 

  Either way, yeah, they now stay in the compound and it's lovely to let them just wander about or bake themselves in the sporadic sunshine.

  I need to get the back fence put up now. Just because. Posts are long since sunk. All the runners and pales are painted. Just need Pat to help me for half an hour more. Cutting a notch out of a tree and simply holding one end of the runners, as I screw them on. Rest I can sort out alone.

  Right now though, the thing on my mind is the stable roof! FFS! It's corrugated asbestos and caving in! It won't stand up to this coming Winter.

    So, fuck the overdraft. I'm going for broke. (Christ, I'll be broke!) But, my horses will have a luxury roof over them that'll still be looking fantastic, long after I'm gone.

  Suffice it just to say that, as I type; If it rains? The fucking rain comes in and drips directly into the very place where there hay feed goes. So, they get wet as they munch on wet hay.

  It also runs down on the only spot available to store their half a dozen bales at a time that I buy them. But, that's nothing though. Ignore it, and the whole fucking lot will simply collapse, this Winter. No two ways about it. 

  Here's what it looks like, today then:

   And, believe me, that shit's shot to shit. It's a fucking abortion up there. Half the rafters beneath it are rotten as pears too. Never mind though. I'm on the case. 'Nuff said. Massive money is now pledged to this situation. Twenty by Thirty roof? Fuck, yeah!

   Watch this space! 

Fucked A Couple Of Youngsters, The Other Day .....

  I was in town and went to the Ironmongers type place, to price up some tin. Corrugated iron. I need a shit load of the stuff to re roof my fucking stable.

  Else, the whole lot's gonna collapse, this winter. The asbestos is leaking like a sieve as it is. Can't store half a dozen bales of hay in there, without they get pissed on, when it rains. 

Worst of all; It's leaking rotten ~ right above the poor horses standing and feeding stalls! FFS. 30 x 19 feet though, all told. Gonna cost me the best part of fucking £500.00!!! And I do mean sterling. Time I replace the rafters too .....

  So, I've blown into the shop. Pair of lanky young lads lounging about behind the counter. One of them's peeled himself out of a lean and come towards me, disinterestedly.

  " I've come to price up some tin. " I've pronounced. Without preamble. 'Tin?' He's asked. Looking a bit, " WTF? " at me. " Roof Tin. " I've said.

  At this, seeing the question mark forming, I suppose, the other lad's come forward, probably wondering if He could figure out what the old fuck was on about.

  " I want to re roof my whole fucking stable. Liable to cost me a fucking fortune. I want an idea of how much " I   explained.

  Still they both looked a little confused. How fucking hard could this be?  " Corrugated Iron? " I tried. " I don't know what the fuck else ye may know it as ....? "

 Then, just as I started to see that first little glimmer of recognition dawn on their visages, quite spontaneously, I arched my eyebrow and caught the pair of them in my most  sober gaze.

  I solemnly intoned; " Winter Is Coming ..... "  Then puckered up and broke into a very passable rendition of the Game Of Thrones theme music. 

  It was quite funny, actually. Watching as both their faces struggled, desperately, to maintain their composure. Yet, almost instantly, broke down and imploded into shuddering, eye watering,  almost silent, gales of laughter!

  That fucked 'em! Kids just don't seem to realise that, old as we may be, we still have a sense of fucking humour.