Tormenting Pat' .....

 I have a totally fucked up sense of humour. Probably comes as part of the package. I'm long since fucked up myself. Don't honestly know if one preceded the other. Anyway .....

 Today then, I'm back down on the water meadows, cutting rushes, with Pat'. I've just turned up and Pat's explaining something or other about the petrol situation.

 Means fuck all to me. Pat' buys petrol. We pour it into our brush cutters. Rushes fall like rain. What else do I need to know? 

 So, I said to Pat', completely laconically and conversationally; "   It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day ..... "

 Pat just seemed to keep saying what ever he'd been meaning to say. Barely even registering that I'd started speaking.

 Then, as he finished, I carried on into the correct silence which conversational convention allows for with:

 "I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay  ..... "

I suspect it was, probably, the reference to " cotton " that caused some resonance with Pat's subconscious.

 "  And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat. And Mama hollered out the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet"

Now, at This point, I'd definitely got Pat's attention. He was now looking at me as if I'd just suggested we get on our hands and knees and eat juncus rushes. Only, he couldn't quite work out why.

 "  And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge". I said. Still flatly. Conversationally. Pat's eyes were now fixed on me. Widening. His jaw starting to drop.

 " Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge". I, matter of factly, informed him.

 That did it. " Jesus! " He exclaimed. " What in the name of God are ye talking about?!? "

 And I ~ mentally ~ licked my finger and drew a stroke in the air between us. Gave Pat' a smug, 'cat's got the cream' smile. And trudged off down toward the bottom end of the meadow. There to start my engine. 

 Grinning a grin that would see me through several hours of shoulder wrecking work. 



 Is there Anything sweeter than, just occasionally, winding a mate up and then leaving them to hang? 
 

Something For The Weekend ....?

  Treat yeselves to this; The absolutely fucking Legendary " Ode To Billy Joe ". Here performed genuinely live, in 1967, by the girl who wrote it, Bobbie Gentry.

 Here's the lyrics. should ye need them:

 It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
And Mama hollered out the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet"
And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge"
"Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Papa said to Mama as he passed around the blackeyed peas
"Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits, please"
"There's five more acres in the lower forty I've got to plow"
And Mama said it was shame about Billy Joe, anyhow
Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge
And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

And Brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billie Joe
Put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show
And wasn't I talkin' to him after church last Sunday night?
"I'll have another piece of apple pie, you know it don't seem right"
"I saw him at the sawmill yesterday on Choctaw Ridge"
"And now you tell me Billie Joe's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite?"
"I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite"
"That nice young preacher, Brother Taylor, dropped by today"
"Said he'd be pleased to have dinner on Sunday, oh, by the way"
"He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge"
"And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

A year has come 'n' gone since we heard the news 'bout Billy Joe
And Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store in Tupelo
There was a virus going 'round, Papa caught it and he died last Spring
And now Mama doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time pickin' flowers up on Choctaw Ridge

And drop them into the muddy water off the Tallahatchie Bridge

  If that doesn't move ye? You're really in a fucking rut!