Pesticle Is Completely Insane! ~ Today, She Proved It ....!

  Pat was round, yesterday, with a bale of hay. I couldn't believe my eyes, when I went out there to greet him! I've not seen the man in weeks now, as he's been extremely busy.

   I mean, I've seen him in the distance. Out on the land. Governing JCB's and teams of men. Doing the stuff he finds to do out there. But, I've not actually spoken to him, face to face, for ..... could be pushing a month, I guess?

And, yesterday, having requested a bale, and glimpsed his little red tractor approaching the top gate, I went out there. Fucking Hell!!!!! There he is, hammering down to the pen in a gleaming, brand spanking new, straight off the production line Massey Ferguson!!!

  Anyway, I'll try to get a shot of that, some time. Bright red, of course. Black and gray trimming. Cleanest fucking tractor in Leitrim!

  Meanwhile, he asked why I didn't let the horses out on the paddock? We have the meadow taped off. Paddock's dry enough now. Rosie doesn't really tend to wreck it, like she does the meadow, for some reason. Why not, indeed.

  So, this afternoon, latish, I went down there and opened the small gate for them and out they went. My walking round their side of the stables probably encouraged the donkeys to move ahead a little. I left them to it and slipped back into the compound.

  Obviously, Pesticle's waiting there for me. She greets me. Then, she puts her face through the bolt hole in the gate and, tail wagging ten to the dozen, examines her friends, what ever she sees the horses as, as they inch past, eating the plentiful grass out there.

  I just lean on the gate and enjoy the same sight she has. Rosie and Donks. Moving slowly, one step at a time along the fence.  Ripping and devouring the grass before them.

  Then, I glance at Pesticle  ..... Fucking Dog's doing the exact same thing!!! There's quite a bit of grass there, beside the fence. Crept in under it. And, there's fucking Pesticle, studiously ripping whole fucking mouthfuls and chewing it up!

  This isn't the normal, Dog nibbling a random taste of grass behaviour we may observe a bit of, now and then. This fucking Dog is taking very slow, one foot at a time, steps in the same direction as the horses. Eating about as much fucking grass!!!

  Good seven or eight minutes I must have stood there. Just enjoying watching the horses enjoying themselves. And, that damn Dog was scarfing down the grass on her side all that time! Grazing her side of the fence, as the horses grazed theirs. I swear to god; I've never seen anything like it!

  So, there we have it. Dog's completely fucking raving! Thinks it's a fucking Horse now!

  I've always said; All my Dogs are mad. If they're not, when they come here, they bloody soon will be. le Ding is partial to the occasional nibble on my walls. And checks the hole in the door, religiously, when he enters this room.  

  Evil Little Dog has her, legendary. Commando Creep Crawl. Is also given to sitting, staring at me. And has developed a set of weird vocalisations for the moment I start stirring in my pit.

  Niggy has completely fixated on Pesticle. His life seems to revolve around grooming her. When he's not doing that, he grooms himself, rubbing his throat on various surfaces, and making some noises of his own.

  Pesticle? Innocent, harmless, happiest little Dog. The absolute light of my life. 

  But, fuck me; That impersonation of a horse ....! The Dog's fucking lost it!

Christ Almighty! THAT Fucking Hurt ....!!!!!

  I'm just sitting here, having a quiet read. Pesticle decides she wants to come and sit on Dad.

She likes to do that. I read the screen as she sits sideways and watches out the window.

All is good in the world. Even if I don't own a single pair of denims without a busted zip.

So, there's Pest; Sat on my lap. Peering out at the land. There's me, reading about stuffed foxes. Then it happens!

Pest has incrementally shifted her weight. The merest flexing of a paw ..... And that has somehow caused Great and Terrible pressure on two of the brass teeth of my broken zip.

Me being commando, the unimaginable happened!

Those fucking little brass teeth, ably assisted by a Huge weight of perfectly comfortable Dog, acted like a set of vicious, mini pliers!

Right on the edge of the f**king japs eye!!!!! One's inside. Other's outside. They're pinching with a force of around seventy fucking pounds, focused on a point just millimetres in size.

The colossal effect on me then might be considered  disproportionate. If ye not a man!

Christ All Fucking Mighty!!! I couldn't move! Couldn't breathe! My vision blurred so I thought I might pass out!

Ye know that scene in the Charles Bronson film; Where he grabs that guy by the testicles in a crushing grip?

That was me. Not Charles Bronson. I was like the big cunt, lapsing into unconsciousness with pain!

Fuck me, it hurt! Still does, actually! Fucked if I'm checking it. I can't even bring myself to uncross my legs, right now.

Pesticle's back to laying on the bed. Probably wondering why Dad suddenly made those strangled noises and his eyes bulged out like that.

Just before he somehow found the truly astounding reserves of strength to physically launch an entire, full grown American Bulldog off his lap!

Christ, it fucking hurt!

Why I Love Dogs So Much ....!

    I've just been up to Pat's and then, when I got back, went straight into my work room, to paint some fence posts. I was gone less than an hour. Dogs were in here. Not a peep out of them

 So, now, I've just walked through the door and, as Pest leapt up at my in her customary fit of ecstasy at seeing me, I could barely take in what she was saying and what I was seeing .....

 " Dad! " She cried. " Look! We've been helping you ....! "

  " We've got All the wood out of the sack, for you to put in the stove, look! "

 I'm almost in fucking tears here, these Dogs crack me up so much with their adorable little minds!

Dog Fighting At Ditch's ~ Exposed!!!

 Yes, people. I'm back. And I want to come clean, to those who thought they knew me. I need to expose my soul!

" FODRN ", you entrusted me we with the American ('Performance Type') Bulldog bitch I've come to call " Pest ".

" Dean O' ", you passed on that little, pint sized JRT I'd suggested should be called " Rag ". You'd remember why ....!

Then, I've gone silent.

Yes.

This is because I have this insistance that every Dog which comes to live with me Must be Insane!

If they're not insane when they come here? We'll pretty fucking soon ensure they end up that way!

This evening, I discovered that my camera Can, in fact, pick up some semblance of an indoors, daylightish image.

So, here's the proof, people. Observe as " Pest ", perfectly capable of 'kissing' a grown man, standing tall, goes head to head with a 'Jack Russell', perfectly capable of fitting into a pint glass!

(The Real test of insanity is that " Nigger " and " Dingo " were just curled up, amongst us. Thinking; " Loons! ") It all goes on at Ditch's!