I'm Free ....!

 Nicotine free. Un fucking believable! After forty years of smoking, I gave up the fags and turned to Snus. After a year on Snus ..... I've been off That since this year.

 It's all down to " Phil' ". Philomena. Landlady of my local. Most sweet and caring woman I've ever known. Having had that pig flu' for a week, from new years day, I'd not been near the snus for a week, I guess.

 Mentioned this, in passing, to Phil', just as casual conversation. Only, she misconstrued what I was getting at. I'd Never intended snus as a way off smoking, let alone off nicotine altogether.

But, she took it that I was saying I was clean. I'd won some fight I'd never even considered myself in. She clasped her hands together and looked at me like ..... I don't know. But it broke my heart, right there, to think I could ever disappoint her.

 That day, I knew, I could never put even snus in my mouth again. Never have.

Gave what I had left to Dean O'. Never ordered my regular quota. Just 'Got over it'.

  Funny as fuck, actually. I'd drain the last suck from a mug of tea? ' Snus!!!! '. The urge would slam into me like a train! And be gone, just as fast.

  Weird little shit, like that. Like how a smoker will push their plate away and reach for their fags, automatically. Little things would make me 'Need' snus.

 Even going out my gate. It triggered the response of getting all the way up the track, going to chat with Pat'. Then realising I'd left my 'baccy at home. Couldn't possibly relax and chat without a fag. Forgetting my snus was the same.

Now? Those 'Flash Back', split second moments have lessened to the point where I really can't remember the last time I even had one.

My name is Ditch Shitter. I no longer need, nor crave, nicotine. I'm free.

Just Been for a Walk .....

More like a Route March. Or Forceful Invasion, actually. I was Unstoppable!

In fact, I just 'strolled' up to see Pat. Something, with all the ice and shit, I haven't done for ages. And that mean't walking right up the track, to the road and beyond.

Last time I ever walked up that damn track? I was resigned to the fact that, one day, it would kill me. It has a slope at the top and dragging one foot after another, as my heart pounded and my lungs burned, was a sure sign that I was fucked.

Now, of course, I haven't smoked a single fag since ..... what? November? Something like that. And now I'm fucking Superman! I strode out my gate and simply never broke my stride till I got to Pat's place! I was like a fucking Land Rover, chewing my way up that slope! My huge and powerful lungs effortlessly sucking in so much oxygen, plants were wilting as I strode by. What a fucking rush!

So, there we have it, peeps. If ye Still smoking, even after all we've tried to tell ye here, about Snus? I really don't know what else I can say. But, I'm the living proof of it. Maybe just three months off the fags, after a life time hard at them. I feel like a younger, fitter man. And I haven't gained a gram in weight either.

The choice is yours.

Snus Review 5; An Advanced Listing .....

Well, I've got an order made out now, on Northerner, which is actually where I tend to buy my snus from, now that I've sussed out that having it sent by Swedish Post is actually a far better option than FedEx. I'll be sending this one in just as soon as I remember to transfer the money to my 'Credit Card'. Do that in town, see?

Meanwhile, here's a sneak preview of what I have lined up:

02 Original Strong Portion *
Claq Qui, Strong Portion *
Ettan, Portion *
General, Portion *
Granit, Portion *
Grovsnus, Portion
Göteborgs Rape, White Portion
Nick & Johnny, Strong Portion *
Probe Whisky, Portion
Thunder Extra Stark, Strong Portion


How many of ye spotted that an '*' denotes one I've had before? Yeppers. Some I just wouldn't be without in my stash. Some, I feel like giving another go, trying to decide if they too are to become a permanent fixture in my line up.

I have four or five pretty much full tubs around me here right now ~ see how long this stuff lasts ye?! So, I'm comfortable that I'll be awash with more of the stuff in plenty of time yet. No more fags for me, ever!

How long's it been now? Two months? More? Dunno. But, I do know that I don't even think about my breath when I walk the Dogs now. And, now and then, this lovely little lightbulb comes on inside my head and just reminds me; " And this stuff isn't hardening ye arteries either! Less chance of a cardiac or a stroke! "

Yet, what continues to leave me shaking my head is the Smokers around me. They interrogate me about this stuff, to the n'th degree. They enquire as to cost. Effect. Health connotations. Where I get it. You name it.

Yet, the moment I suggest they try a portion? " Oh, No!!! ". They recoil like I've just asked if they'd like to put my dick in their mouths!

Five minutes later, they're shivering outside the door. Puffing away. You tell me .....

I'm Fucking *Starving!* .....

Alright. With respect to those who genuinely are Starving .....

But, I couldn't half do with some munchies! It's the bloody snus, see? Smoking fags is famous for it. People even use it as an excuse not to try and give up. I never have. Because I've never needed an excuse not to try giving up. I just smoked because I liked doing it. And because Not doing it caused me immeasurable misery and stress.

I have one of these 'metabolism's', or what ever it is, see? Eat like a fucking horse and not gain a pound in weight through a year of it. So, I can eat what I like. When I like. Not a cellophane rat in hells chance of me becoming a bloated, ex smoker. Just not an issue, with me.

Nor is it the issue here. I'm just So Fucking Hungry!!! LOL! Christ; I had my usual dinner tonight. Only a few hours ago, in fact! And I started feeling peckish over an hour ago. Now I'm genuinely sitting here, thinking about the Tosco 24 Hour, over in the big town. It'll cost me £30 to get there and back. But, by fuck; There Be Munchies!

02:30. It's getting hard to resist. I could ransack the place for all manner or late night snackettes. Probably find things there I simply can't get locally. Bring in a store of things to attack, when the pangs of appetite attack me. As they will. I had this last night too, but tried to ignore it.

I've actively smoked a fag, before now, just to stave off hunger. Works too. Smoking a fag can be like having a sandwich. Quells the rumblings. Only, while I've just looked and seen I have some baccy stuck away there? I'm simply not interested in it. I'd as soon eat sticks and grass to solve this problem.

Fuck it. 'Saturday Night', isn't it? Taxi's round here tend to work till around 04:00 tonight. I'll see what happens.

Trouble is though; It'll all happen again tomorrow night. And the night after! I'm developing a proper appetite. I'll be needing to eat something before my customary, once a day, late in the day meal next!

Shit. Eggs are good. Scotch Eggs. Very filling. I've been discussing pickling eggs, on Jims lately. All this fucking snus. It's been creeping up on me. A natural level of appetite.

Jesus christ; I'm SO thinking of calling a taxi ....!

Snus Update .....

Just Un Fucking Real!

I'm sat here, enjoying my penultimate 'Baggie' (" Portion ") of Snus. I have just one left in my tub. Shit. And, with that, I just poked a 25g pouch of Golden Virginia into my bod' warmer pocket. God help me if I found myself in town and without any Snus tomorrow!

Fact is? By tomorrow afternoon, I'll be smoking fags again. What a fucking Drag! I'm really, seriously pissed off about it. Back in the old routine. My energy levels will drop, again. I'll be furtively sneaking from shop to shop, place to place. Trying to suck sustenance from half a roll up, before clipping it and dashing around the next place on my itinerary.

Since 18:00, Friday, November 6th, this year I've tasted Freedom! Tomorrow I rejoin the herd. I'll have run out of Snus.

For now, anyway. Because, today, I put in an order for €50's worth! If that can get here by the weekend? Dean O' and I are in for a regular little Snus Fest! We'll be falling upon the wide and rich variety I've ordered and sampling as much as one can in an evening or so.

If not? I'll be Praying for the phone to ring on Monday ..... some guy from FedEx asking me where the hell I am!

Let me make this easy for ye, people: I've been a case hardened smoker for forty years. I'd sooner die that suffer the withdrawal symptoms of trying to 'Give Up'. (They say we're more addicted than Smack Addicts! What hope have we?!)

I smoke a gram of tobacco per hour. 25g pack, at €8.50 lasts me about 24 hours. Effectively? Two days.

Single tub of Snus, costing about €2.50, max', has lasted me Three and a Half Days.

I can't count. But, even I can see that's cheaper than shit!

On top of that, there's been this feeling of freedom. I go in pubs, travel in taxi's, eat my dinner, wander through shops. Never once bothered by the urge to get the fuck out and get one sparked up.

Best of all? I'll be back on the fags by the time ye read this. So what? Doesn't overly bother me. Just a passing inconvenience. Because my Snus supply will be here soon. I'll suss my favourites and order a rolling stock of those.

And, I now know; The moment I have another tub of Snus in my pocket? I can just breeze out that door and not even care about 'A Smoke'.

Snussed In Fucking Credible!!!

This is never fucking Real, is it?! I walked into my local, tonight, at 5.40pm. At 5.45, I crept out for a crafty fag, having just spent ten minutes in a taxi and ordered my pint etc. At 5.55 I was told my Snus had arrived! About 6.00pm, I popped this weird little tea bag like thing under my lip and offered the tub round.

None of my fellow smokers accepted a ..... I dunno. What do we call this shit? A 'Dose'? A 'Tab'? A 'Hit'? We really, as yet, have no common term for it. They call them " Portions " on the tub. But 'Portion'?! Ask a bloke in a pub if he fancies a Portion ....?! Fuck off!

Anyway; Dean 'O turned up ~ and refused to try it. We went about our business and went back to his place. I took my Snus out while I ate my kebab. Put it back in and drank my beer, as normal.

Around 8.00pm, I fancied a fresh Hit. I put the used one in the special compartment in the lid of my Snus tub and popped a fresh one under my lip. We sat and drank beer as we watched an excellent film.

By Ten O'Clock at night, Dean'O was aghast enough to want to try it. I gave him a hit of my General (Portion), and the poor guy virtually spat it out. This is one of the stronger 'Portions'. High Nicotine and Strong Taste of Tobacco.

Happily, I also had some " Skruf (Original White Portion) available. Much Milder in all departments. Apparently has a slight, lemony tang flavour to it? Dean 'O didn't spit that one out.

I left Dean's and am now home. Soon as I got in, just before 10.00pm, I popped my third General of the evening. I also served myself my customary Jameson Irish Whiskey. I'm sat here Enjoying the fuck out of both, as I type this report. The Snus in no way disturbs the taste of the Jameson. And ~ in case ye haven't registered this yet ....? I haven't smoked a fag in FOUR Fucking Hours!!!

I've eaten. I'm drinking alcohol. I'm relaxing and perfectly happy. I have Absolutely No Desire to skin a fag and put it in my mouth! Why the fuck Would I?!

I Don't Believe I just did that! I swear to god; I just hit for the next paragraph. Paused to think what to say next. My right hand lifted up and hovered, uncertainly, over my desk! I was looking for my 'baccy and skins! LMFAO! That's how much of a 'natural' smoker I am! I skin a fag virtually without conscious thought! I'd have skinned one then. Only, I don't actually Fancy one!

My friends and fellow, life long, full on Smokers? All of ye. Addicted or not; This is nothing short of Fucking Revolutionary!!!

I didn't get this stuff to try and kick smoking. I'm quite contentedly resigned to smoking. I Know it'll kill me ~ but, so will much else. I just wanted to try this 'for the craic'. Another novelty. 'Games that men play'.

I'm absolutely fucking astounded at the effect it's having on me! Nothing 'should' make a life long, Heavy Smoker feel this way! It can't be physically possible. Our governments Must know about Snus, obviously. They Beg us, nay; FORCE us to give up smoking ~ or Pay!

So; How come this shit Isn't available in the shops? It's At Least half the price of 'Tobacco', as we know it. It has absolutely Zero effect on those around us, just Looking For a reason to bleat! I don't breath this shit on anyone. It doesn't sting their eyes. It doesn't obscure their view. I don't smell of it.

Fuck me; Unless they want to put their Tongue in my mouth ....?! It's about as bad for our health as yellowy coloured stuff on our sandwiches ~ probably less so, judging by the findings of " The Leitrim Experiment ".

Yet, it's not Allowed to be sold, retail, Anywhere in the EC, except Sweden and Norway. Ye see absolutely No mention of it amongst the plethora of govt. 'Give It Up' sites. No Way is ye GP going to know about it. " Talk to (Fill space with some NHS / Govt Dept) About Giving Up Smoking " ?

No! Fire up ye fucking computer and check out The Northerner. There be the gear. Take ye picks. It's perfectly straightforward and legal to buy it, from them or any other Swedish or Norwegian source, for ye own use. 'Thank You, Brussels!'.

11.35pm. I haven't smoked a fag since 6.00pm. I see no reason to. I feel fine, thanks.

Fuck this; I'm getting me a stock of Snus!

Let's spread the word;

Here's the Revolution!

Snus .....

No. It's not a typo or an acronym. Perhaps it is a Swedish word though? I'm really not sure. What ever. Sweden appears to be the epicentre of it. And I'm going to get some.

In a nut shell; Snus is a medium through which one can gain the nicotine which smokers, such as myself, 'die for'. Yet the impact on ones health is probably about on a par with drinking coke ..... No. Scrub that. I wouldn't drink coke! I suspect Snus is safer.

So, it's a 'Medium' ? Well, sort of Mild, Medium and Strong, really. Comes in all sorts of strengths, flavours, even several forms. But, it's basically tobacco. (Hear me out!) Tobacco is a plant. It synthesises a chemical we call Nicotine. Nicotine could kill ye, stone dead on the spot, if ye ingested a small amount of the pure stuff. Of course, so could Parsley.

But, we smokers are addicted to nicotine. Not parsley or it's chemical constituents. In fact, at the levels we consume nic', it doesn't really matter. It's the other shit we take in, as we inhale the chemical morass formed by setting fire to the nic' harbouring vegetation ~ And the vile concoction of additives they lace the raw vegetation with, simply in order to make it all burn at an acceptably uniform and convenient rate!

In short then? Nicotine addicts smokers. Actually more strongly than Heroin does Smack Heads, believe it or not! But, nicotine doesn't kill smokers. The shit we go through to get that 'fix' does.

Back to Snus then. Snus is tobacco ~ Pay attention at the back! ~ hard to get nic' without that plant. Only, ye don't burn and inhale its smoke. Ye don't chew it. Ye don't even sniff it up ye nose. No. Ye just poke it under ye top lip! :o I shit ye not!

First uproar? " No Fucking WAY am I shoving a gram of cigarette tobacco under my lip! " Err ..... No one's suggesting ye do, mate. That'd be on a par with 'Chewing Tobacco'. That stuff can seriously fuck up ye face.

No. Can we please just forget all about " Tobacco ", as we think of it? Tobacco is just a plant. So is Barley. Do one load of things with Barley? Add things? Ye get beer. Do and add other things? Whiskey. Or even refreshing Robinsons Barley Water. Just so the tobacco plant. One treatment creates cigarettes. Another cigars. A certain way gets ye snus.

Put brutally simply? About 50% water. 5% Salt. The rest made up out of 'baccy and what ever flavourants and the odd thing to make it all come together? That's snus, in laymans terms.

Well, anyway, I'm gonna get some. From Here.

I'm Not trying to give up smoking. Given up trying to give up, decades ago. But, having used Snuff before, I know how an alternative source of Nicotine can drastically cut down on ones need to actually Smoke. This is 90% economics ~ Snus works out cheaper ~ and a passing nod to the fact that I'm simply too fucked to even fuck. I could use some breath.

No soap box then. Not evangelising or proselytising. Just bringing up something else that has caught my notice and which might be of some interest to some others reading this shit.

Week or two and I'll likely be telling ye what I make of the actual stuff; Snus.