Fucking Wannabe Politicians ....!

    They seriously fucking disgust me!

We have the local elections coming up again, here. Now, I've been here long enough now that I'm getting a bit of fucking experience behind me. I'm starting to see shit for what it is.

  The best one, to date, was the FF chick. She's cottoned onto the fact that I've not heard of her own hobby horse, this 'Property Insulation' scheme.

  So, there she is, at my gate, telling me she can get my cottage insulated, for free. They'll pump stuff into my cavity walls and put fibre glass in my roof space.

  Oh yeah?! Great! And, just how are they gonna manage that when my walls are solid, eighteen inches of stones and fucking mortar??? And, fibre glass in my roof space? 

What, so like; Ye'll rip out all the tons of century old juncus rush  that's served this place fine, for a fucking century and roll down a few inches of itchy shit? Just fuck off!!!

  Then, the 'best' bit. The local builder who's brought her to me is murmuring, out the side of his mouth; " When she sends ye the forms, just bring them to me. "

  Jobs For The Boys! Cronieism In Action! Right there at my gate!!! Un Fucking Believable!

  Want the punch line though? Almost two weeks later, this form comes through. I take a cursory glance at it. The condition, under which I might have qualified for fibre glass, is that I be in receipt of Fuel Allowance!

  What?!? Just how fucking out of touch Are these people, who crawl out of the wood work to grab my hand and thrust a brochure at me, every so many years?!

  FG, the Other lot, got in last time. They promptly did away with just about every bit of fucking help we ~ the Officially Bread Liners ~ get. Including Fuel! 

  My electric bill had Always been a fiver in credit. My most recent one was €60.00+!!! And that's just for light and microwaving my single meal of the day!

  I barely even register the existence of my washing machine or shower any more. They're meaningless to me. I can't possibly afford to go near them, thanks to cunting fucking Enda and his FG!!!   

  Yeah; I stink. I dress in rags. I'm fucking Hungry! One lot have done this to me. The other lot are completely un fucking aware!!!

  Just had Enda's local boy at the gate now. Pesticle greeted them at the gate. Head thrust through it, looking for a lick. " Oh! She's a powerful looking Dog alright! Is she breeding for ye? "

  I've just looked at this cunt in utter incredulity. Managed to force out, through gritted gums;  " I don't Breed fucking Dogs!!! " 

  And, before I could even draw breath to mention that All my Dogs are fucking Rescues. That I try to save the 'Surplus' created by cunts breeding Dogs for a fast buck;

  Never mind getting into an in his fucking face screaming session, about the Hundreds and fucking Hundreds His shower of cunts were helping themselves to, out of my bank account and standard of living, including the over night, virtual doubling of fucking Dog Licenses, the moment they got in, along with stripping us of our other extra slices of bread  ....?

  There's the fucking brochure. And a swift wink as he obviously assumes My vote for Him is in the fucking bag. And he's gone!

 Fucking Wankers!!! I'm just fucking incandescent!!!
 

Parakeets Open Season .....

Mate of mine, fellow Pest Controller, just mentioned to me, in e mail, about the parakeets being added to the " General Licence ", over there. For those who don't know; This basically means that anyone with the right permission will soon be able to shoot parakeets.

The main bit of law which will allow this is a thing called " The General Licence ". Like any other sort of Licence, of course, it has conditions and parameters. But, we shan't bother ourselves with them here. Because, sure as hell, no bastard else will be doing. It'll be 'Open Season' on these birds.

Now, let's get one thing straight; I don't personally give a shit what these things are called, or what they look like. 'Parakeet'. Doesn't lend itself too well to 'Shooting', does it? Given the option, it's fair to assume Polly wants a Cracker. Not a piece of lead smashing through his body.

Saying that? If Polly's truly and Provably causing a fucking nuisance? Lead it shall be. (Though I'd sooner use a trap and whack Polly on the head, myself. More cost effective. But we're not talking about cost effectiveness here).

I'll allow my response, ten minutes ago, to my colleague and friend of half a life time say the rest for me. Here it is:

" No parakeets here, so not a consideration for me. But, while I can quite understand that they need controlling, it's already sickened me to see the air gun SAS types kneading their groins at the prospect of something else to shoot at and make bleed.

I've already seen the wankers, on a forum, boasting how they'll be among them. Why don't these fucking idiots just sign up? In next to no time they can be carrying a Real gun and trying their luck at some Really interesting species.

Oh, yes. But then, these fuckers might fire back; With an RPG or AK47! So fucking what though? Afghans and Talibans are 'on the general license' and these mental spastics like to shoot guns at things .....

They all seem to consider a fox a much more manly target than a harmless fucking Jackdaw. How about a fanatical and battle hardened Mujah Hadeem sort, on his own bit of mountain, and armed to the fucking teeth with weaponry equal to theirs?

Shit loads of bragging rights for knocking over half a dozen of them, surely? Or am I missing something here ....? Fucking wankers! "

Ask yeself .....

Secret Love Messages .....

Seen that shit? Fucking unbelievable! I keep getting this poxy banner ad', on the beer forum. £10 a week. (Well, alright; Euro's. Idiots know where I live then?)

What the fuck is the world coming to? From what I gather, I'm supposed to pay these cunts a tenner a week. And, in return, some prick will put my mobile number into his computer.

Bingo. So many times a week, I'll get some stupid fucking text message, presumably relating to some non existent persons feelings for me ~ emotional or sexual? Christ knows. What's The Fucking Point?!

0898 phone numbers? Stupid chat lines? Wasn't all that bad enough? Now some prick's worked out that society has gone so far down the pan that some fat, wet lipped bed sit dweller will actually pay to 'live' in anticipation of their next sentence of bollocks, churned out en mass from a prick with a mobile.

Unbelievable.

Worst is, I get these adverts. They find out what they can about ye, from what ye innocently put on line, then figure out what shit ye liable to be interested in. Me? Obviously ticked " Divorced " somewhere. So, that makes me a sad and lonely individual, craving love, attention and cyber sex? Fuck Right Off!

" Erection Problems? ". That's the present darling of my Yahoo Mailer. Hard on? Me? My only problem in That department is the numbing regularity with which I get one, thanks! But. that's due to my perceived age group, see?

" Lose Belly Fat " (Because I read about beer!) Listen; If I lost much of Anything from my waist line, I'd only have a fucking spine to show there!

And so it goes on. Nigerian wankers to the one side. Advert Spammers to the other. Is it any wonder I just read more fucking books these days?