Ditch Shitter Just Wrote .....

Ditch Shitter Just Wrote .....

Quick word about comments ...

Comments here are 'moderated'. In as much that I have to physically see them and wave them through once you hit Send. So, if ye write a Comment. Post it. Don't see it? No worries. It's just sitting there, waiting for me to come online and find it in my email. I click and your words appear here. Please don't post it several times. Get frustrated and storm off, never to be seen again. It's just a measure I was forced to put into place by doxxers, spammers and other, mentally unstable's.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Caught A Fuck Of A Magpie Today!


I mean, seriously! This fukka's a Beast!

I've been dimly aware of one 'in the area' for a week or so now. It's seemed to prefer Pat's lower top field. End of my track and towards the river. Between there and the big Ash.

Though Dean O' and I spotted one coming up my back hedge, last Sunday. What ever. I might have glimpsed it once before now, round my aviary. But I know my bird gets agitated when it's around.

Today then, I'm working away here when I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. Spun round and, yeppers; Wild magpie at the door end of the aviary. I actually sent a note to the Bird Track peeps, to say it was on my land and targeted for " Taking Into Custody ". We log shit to the passing hour there. So I logged that at 15:00.

Got back to work. 17:00, I fed the Dogs and horses. That done, I decided to fetch the Larsen Trap down off my porch and set it to work. Then I carried on in here.

Couple of minutes to 18:00 and something else has distracted me. Like; I had the fucker! Great. Told the Dogs to stay out of it and went out there. I shifted the trap round, as I'd previously worked out I'd have to, to give me freedom of movement while reaching in there and catching the bird. Then I slipped my arm in and started trying to grasp the bastard.

Jesus fucking christ! It was like getting hold of a Gyr Falcon! As soon as my hand closed round this bugger, I knew he was big. Then I felt the muscles which were making him so big. Then I felt the sheer bloody force of the bastard! This was a magpie on steroids!

Told him so. Said, " You're a big bastard, aren't ye? Now; In there ye go. " And into the aviary he went.

Checking the grub situation, I figured I'd sling a last bit in there. In fact, I slung a fair old lump of minced beef in. Then sat in here and observed.

Dear god! That fucker didn't hang about either! He picked up a lump the size of a good sized mouse and popped about with it. I thought he'd choke himself. Finally got that down the neck and went back for More! I'm like sat here goggle eyed, just watching the bastard packing it away. I'm thinking, " Hey! I have to Pay for that, ye cunt! " Never seen a bird eat like it in my life!

Anyway, there we are. Now I have what I'd certainly take to be a gendered pair. Hulking great male and a lesser female. Let's see how these two get on in an 8 x 6 x 4' aviary.



2 comments:

  1. Good work Ditch! He sounds great. Can you get a picture of him up? Are you going call him "Big Bastard"?
    SAM

    ReplyDelete
  2. No point in photographing him, Sam. He doesn't *Look* that big. It's more the feel of what's under his feathers. Huge, broad bodied thing.

    Seems to have settled in fine too. Pity is; I'll have to kill any more I catch now. Unless I can convince Dean O' to build an aviary. He's said how he'd like to keep some pet magpies.

    ReplyDelete