Irish Manners ~ I'm Learning ....!

Maybe I should have said Co. Leitrim Manners? After all, I've no idea if this model applies in Dublin or Cork. But, I feel I'm finally getting the hang of the 'Irish', " Always time for another drink. " / " No word for 'Hurry' in the Irish language. " sort of mind set.

Here's an example. I'm down to my last bale of hay. Tomorrow, I get up and my horses are calling for feed. Tommy The Hay Man, told me he'd be here with a truck load, this week. Well, this week might actually have been last week. Lesson one; I've counted my bales and kept my head. Today, I calmly fed them the last bale I possess.

Now, Tommy likes a pint. Nothing wrong with that. He starts while most of us are still asleep. He works like a powered machine. He provides for us, where no man other can or will.

Down side is that his accent broadens as his hearing diminishes. He and I are completely unable to communicate, other than face to face and sober. Thus Pat ~ brought up with the guy ~ is our go between. I needed hay. I needed Tommy. I needed to call Pat.

I Didn't need this stress. I flicked the switch. Here's what would, typically, have happened had I gone Portsmouth:

" Pat? That fukka hasn't come up with the hay, man! I'm fucked! Just fed the horses their Last bale. Morning they start starving! Bastard's let me down! Guy's a prick and my fucking horses are dead! Jesus! You got any hay ye can sell me? Like, I need it NOW! " (Hope is that ye'll drop what ever ye doing and tractor me a load down here. Right Now. Before I boil over and stop shouting 'n screaming and start letting loose with the pump action!)

Very Portsmouth. Very Un Leitrim! So, today, I went Native on Pat .....

" Hullo, Pat :-) How am I? Fine, mate! The Horse Fair? Sure, I was there. Just did my usual though. Taxi in. One circuit. Pint in Jim's. Taxi home. I never saw ye, mate! Ye saw me? Waiting for the taxi? "

" Rosie? LOL! Naah! I didn't want to put anyone else to shame, bringing My mare down there! And, I mean; Did ye see Anything there that could Touch my Rosie? No? There we are then. No. I saw a horse with good feather, but no colour. One mare, she seemed to have half her back missing! ..... " (And so on, and so forth).

Finally; " Tommy? Oh, he said this week, mate. Bugger hasn't shown yet and things are getting a little bit ..... ye know ..... Ye'll ring him now? Oh. Ok. Cool. Thanks. Let me know how it goes :-) I'm just in ye yard now. Amazing how it looks now they took those old trees out! Oh? Ye have Frank there? Top Man, Frank! Best Spark we have! Give him my best. Later, mate. "

In the time it took me to stroll out of Pat's (Farm) yard and wander along the road, past his house next door, I saw him in his garage. On his mobile and beckoning me.

" Ditch; Tommy's in the pub. He has the hay in his shed and is just lining up to fetch it. He'll be with ye Saturday. I'll come down and we can get it loaded in.

Meanwhile; Ye have no hay? Right. I'll bring down three ~ no, four bales. That'll do ye till Tommy gets to ye. "

And thus I glided home. Making stupid, schoolboy like postures with my light rain coat. Grinning and bidding the cattle good day. Swept into my cow shed and started clearing the usual area out, ready for the next stock of hay.

I'd barely got a sweat up when I heard the throbbing of a tractor. The horses are fed. My new, back door has been examined and deeply enthused over. My new kitchen sink unit praised. My brewing beer eyed with lip licking interest.

Pat's gone home with a brand new, virtually unused Calf Drinker. A Calf Feeding Trough which has been bugging me, by its presence, for years now. And a reminder that that old bath he fancies, as a cattle trough, is there when ever he wants it.

Now I'm sat here, feeling all warm and cosy. Job done and not a care in the world. no ranting and raving. No stressing out. No need.

As I've formally said on some other forum; Out here? We're just nice to each other. Rushing just causes stress. And stress is contagious. Chill out! :D