Snussed In Fucking Credible!!!

This is never fucking Real, is it?! I walked into my local, tonight, at 5.40pm. At 5.45, I crept out for a crafty fag, having just spent ten minutes in a taxi and ordered my pint etc. At 5.55 I was told my Snus had arrived! About 6.00pm, I popped this weird little tea bag like thing under my lip and offered the tub round.

None of my fellow smokers accepted a ..... I dunno. What do we call this shit? A 'Dose'? A 'Tab'? A 'Hit'? We really, as yet, have no common term for it. They call them " Portions " on the tub. But 'Portion'?! Ask a bloke in a pub if he fancies a Portion ....?! Fuck off!

Anyway; Dean 'O turned up ~ and refused to try it. We went about our business and went back to his place. I took my Snus out while I ate my kebab. Put it back in and drank my beer, as normal.

Around 8.00pm, I fancied a fresh Hit. I put the used one in the special compartment in the lid of my Snus tub and popped a fresh one under my lip. We sat and drank beer as we watched an excellent film.

By Ten O'Clock at night, Dean'O was aghast enough to want to try it. I gave him a hit of my General (Portion), and the poor guy virtually spat it out. This is one of the stronger 'Portions'. High Nicotine and Strong Taste of Tobacco.

Happily, I also had some " Skruf (Original White Portion) available. Much Milder in all departments. Apparently has a slight, lemony tang flavour to it? Dean 'O didn't spit that one out.

I left Dean's and am now home. Soon as I got in, just before 10.00pm, I popped my third General of the evening. I also served myself my customary Jameson Irish Whiskey. I'm sat here Enjoying the fuck out of both, as I type this report. The Snus in no way disturbs the taste of the Jameson. And ~ in case ye haven't registered this yet ....? I haven't smoked a fag in FOUR Fucking Hours!!!

I've eaten. I'm drinking alcohol. I'm relaxing and perfectly happy. I have Absolutely No Desire to skin a fag and put it in my mouth! Why the fuck Would I?!

I Don't Believe I just did that! I swear to god; I just hit for the next paragraph. Paused to think what to say next. My right hand lifted up and hovered, uncertainly, over my desk! I was looking for my 'baccy and skins! LMFAO! That's how much of a 'natural' smoker I am! I skin a fag virtually without conscious thought! I'd have skinned one then. Only, I don't actually Fancy one!

My friends and fellow, life long, full on Smokers? All of ye. Addicted or not; This is nothing short of Fucking Revolutionary!!!

I didn't get this stuff to try and kick smoking. I'm quite contentedly resigned to smoking. I Know it'll kill me ~ but, so will much else. I just wanted to try this 'for the craic'. Another novelty. 'Games that men play'.

I'm absolutely fucking astounded at the effect it's having on me! Nothing 'should' make a life long, Heavy Smoker feel this way! It can't be physically possible. Our governments Must know about Snus, obviously. They Beg us, nay; FORCE us to give up smoking ~ or Pay!

So; How come this shit Isn't available in the shops? It's At Least half the price of 'Tobacco', as we know it. It has absolutely Zero effect on those around us, just Looking For a reason to bleat! I don't breath this shit on anyone. It doesn't sting their eyes. It doesn't obscure their view. I don't smell of it.

Fuck me; Unless they want to put their Tongue in my mouth ....?! It's about as bad for our health as yellowy coloured stuff on our sandwiches ~ probably less so, judging by the findings of " The Leitrim Experiment ".

Yet, it's not Allowed to be sold, retail, Anywhere in the EC, except Sweden and Norway. Ye see absolutely No mention of it amongst the plethora of govt. 'Give It Up' sites. No Way is ye GP going to know about it. " Talk to (Fill space with some NHS / Govt Dept) About Giving Up Smoking " ?

No! Fire up ye fucking computer and check out The Northerner. There be the gear. Take ye picks. It's perfectly straightforward and legal to buy it, from them or any other Swedish or Norwegian source, for ye own use. 'Thank You, Brussels!'.

11.35pm. I haven't smoked a fag since 6.00pm. I see no reason to. I feel fine, thanks.

Fuck this; I'm getting me a stock of Snus!

Let's spread the word;

Here's the Revolution!