UnHinged .....

So, I happened to be in Jim's today, having a crafty sup between dashing off about my business in town. Obviously, Jim being behind the bar, there was sport on the big telly. And I, knowing nothing and having even less interest in such shit, was staring blankly at a load of brown, skinny legged horses being walked around as some idiots jabbered excitedly.

Some writing on the screen seemed to be saying something about some horse. I vaguely wondered how the name was pronounced. The guy said it. Oh. That was how. Hmm. Say; That horse has rather long looking back legs. I've never seen muscle quite like that reaching to the main body before .....

Then another bit of writing came up and I saw there was a horse running by the name of " UnHinged "! LOL! What a cracking fucking name for a horse! Quite suited my frame of mind just then too! Didn't even look a bad animal either ~ for all I'd know about race horses.

They were saying something about UnHinged and I actually found myself looking at Jim. 'Come on, Jim. Turn around, mate! It's on the tip of my tongue to ask ye how I put a bet on. Can ye make a phone call? Or do I need to nip round to the bookies across the road? What do I say???

My Dad was a Greyhound Trainer. From him, I learned one simply doesn't gamble on races. Thus I never have. Never in my life. Not even the Grand National. Wouldn't have a clue. But, today, caught up in a moment of weirdness, I just fancied putting a fiver on this horse whose name had made me smile wryly to myself.


" UnHinged looks ready to go ....! " Said a voice on the telly. " And They're Off ....! " Oh. Too late for me to do anything about my impulse now then. But, I still said to the bloke next to me; " My money's on that 'UnHinged'. " As I wished it had been. Still, it would help add something to the next few minutes .....

" And UnHinged has taken the lead ..... " I kept my eye on the number, 10, I think? And the shirt on the jokey. Round they went. Over the hurdles. UnHinged leading the field, comfortably, all the way.

Oh well, I thought. The Donkeys always do that. Then, in the last third or quarter, the real stars show their stuff and we start seeing who the first three may be. Donkey being left in their wake.

On and over they went. No One got close to UnHinged. Thundering hooves. Bunch of horses. Over the hurdles. Unhinged was sailing. All else in his wake. It was like watching Ballyregan Unhinged. Any second now though, the Real performers would show their stuff.

I wasn't really listening to the commentary. I was just waiting for the inevitable.

I was still waiting when I realised they'd passed the winning post. UnHinged having probably never been less than a comfortable half length ahead of the field!

I believe the term is that he " Romped Home " ? My horse. Chosen on a whim. By a man who's never looked sideways at a race horse in his life. And I'd actually ~ seriously ~ wanted to put money on this fancy.

I spoke of a fiver. Of course, had I time and instruction, I'd have fished a tenner out of my pocket, just for the craic. I had no idea the odds on this horse. I don't even understand the " 3-8 Favourite " shit they talk.

If Only Jim had looked round. If only I'd have had time to make that call, or the bookies.

UnHinged romped home at 25-1 !!!!! Even I know my tenner would've meant Drinks All Round in Jim's this afternoon! FFS!