Land Surveying .....

No wonder who ever does this for a job can charge a fortune! You ever tried it?!

 I own a little scrap of land here. My cottage is on it, obviously. Then there's a few out buildings and the various features that define the area. Hedges, ditches, tracks and such.

 Thing is, see; Being countryside, my markers are fences, hedges and things. Open fields in between. I can't say " 43, Acacia Avenue " and anyone know where I mean.

 And, talking about, " About two thirds down the hedge along the back of the field below the trees. " Would be about as much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking contest.

 Yet, I'd like to be able to create a map of the area. Detailed enough that, when I keel over, someone else could locate my wild bird Nest Boxes. 

So, armed with both a 30M tape and an electronic gadget called a Range Finder ~ think of binoculars which tell ye how far away the point or object being viewed is? I thought I could crack this.

 Fuck me! Measuring the outside of the cottage wasn't too much drama. Lots of note scribbling. But, I got there.

 The cow shed and horse pen were a bit more complicated. I had to measure off fixed points, like gate posts. And there were turns and distances across tracks and such. But, I stuck at it and reckon I got it all about right.

 I'm plotting all this on graph paper, see? One tiny square to a meter. Quite enjoying it. Seeing the map take shape. First my own land. Then sneaking out to cover the fields and tracks surrounding me.

 I can take this as far as I like it, of course. And I'd very much Love it to encompass all of Pat' and Noel's lands too. I have boxes up on their properties too, after all. I could also plot 'Open' birds nests.

 It's the fir trees that fucked me up. Pat has this fenced in stand of sitka spruce, just behind my horse pen. A rectangular piece of ground. Professionally fenced.

And I took tape readings of its length and depth. Then I taped from its edge to my track, across the horse field.

 That's when it all fucked up. When I counted the squares from the fence to the fence around the trees? That fence joined the horse pen at the far end. 

But, out there, standing beside the fence? It hits the back wall of the horse pen, two yards in from this side. Horse pen wall's twelve yards long ..... Fuck.

 Swear to god; I've been out there with everything. Taking and checking my measurements from every fucking fence and gate post. Everything measures up. 

Yet, nothing makes sense! Those trees and their fence are a good ten meters to one side of where the measurements put them! Bastards!

 I've tried to 'Triangulate' shit 'n all that. Thing is, my Range Finder doesn't seem able to measure a distance inside about twenty five meters. Too close for its own signal, I guess? 

Then it started raining. And I was running in and out, trying measurements and still coming up right and wrong. It all got a bit much.

 I'll try again, tomorrow. Fresh head on. To be honest? The real nigger in the wood pile here is the Blackcaps nest. I have them tucked down, right in the key fucking corner I'd like to shoot some range rays out of.

 Very nervy birds. They'll desert if ye so much as look at them sideways, in the early stages of incubation. Once the young have hatched? Hell, we'll be ringing them! But, for now though? I don't want to go within eight foot of that nest and eggs.

 Damn. I've been sat here, staring at my map, so far. Trying to spot the angles. Thinking how I'll need different coloured pens and felt tips, to illustrate features like hedges and Nest Boxes.

 The light's going now. But, I can still see the gate of Pat's cattle crush at the top of my track. If I measured the gates there and the width of the track? I could take a bearing from the big ash tree and .....

 Why can't I just relax and do anything by halves? Maybe it's because I'm so damn aware of how little time I might have left .....

Shit needs to be done. I want to leave a record of my work? I have to do the work to Make that record.

 Busy day tomorrow .....

Never just assume ye'll still be here next year.