Nest Boxes? I Thought I Could Handle It .....

I've just sat down with a beer. Having just made another Starling Box  And, this time, I managed to time myself. I tried yesterday. But, I forgot to 'clock off'.

Tonight though, working at perfectly normal speed, and encountering no particular nightmares; An hour.

So, I can wander into my work room with empty hands. One hour later, I can walk back out, leaving a perfect and completely ready to go out Starling Box.

I s'pose that could be pared down by a fair bit, if I went Production Line. Buying in stacks of nine inchers and whacking off the prescribed lengths and cuts.

But, slicing a plank into a dozen " Backs". Making a huge pile of "Floors ", etc? It's just not the way I work.

Bitch is, I've completely run out of nine inch planks now. And I'm not going into town again for a week! :o I don't think I can take it. In fact? I bloody well Know I can't!

My name's Ditch Shitter. I'm a Boxaholic. I've Got To think of away of getting more planks here ~ without spending £20 in taxi fares, just to go get them!

Pat worked for one of the plank sellers in town. They also deliver. I'll ask Pat if he knows if they'll take my plastic, over the phone.

Bit of luck, Pat'll cop onto the situation and say he'll pick up the planks when he goes in. I can square him up next week, when I go to the cash point.

Terrible, isn't it? I have no pride. No self shame. All I can think about is my bloody fix! I Must Have  nine inch planks! I  NEED  to make Starling Boxes!

LMFAO! Worst of it is ..... It's the gods honest truth! 

Disturbing thought though. What if I buy, say, three planks? Hell of a lot of  boxes in that lot! I might lose it. Go on a mad, day long binge of Starling Box making. Over dose and be found, weeks later in a room full of the things .....

Yeppers. I recognize my problem. But, equally, I realize I'm a lost cause. I'll  Never be able to stop making Nest Boxes. I became addicted in my early teens. Hooked before I knew it.

Now? I'm a hollow shell of an old man. Just trying to make it through, from  that last box to the next one. Look on me as a warning. I thought I could handle it. The odd 'Blue Tit Box'. 'Just one, at the week end .....'.

Before I knew it, I was 'Binge' Nest Box making. Losing days and nights to it. I even started 'Pushing'. Selling Nest Boxes to others. Anything for another sheet of Ply. A few planks. To feed my need.

And this is how I've ended up, people. I'm on that high, now. I've just made a good box. But, tomorrow? I'll awake with that hunger. My stash of a couple of six inch planks will soften the crash.

But, I'm beyond even Tit and Sparrow Boxes now. They've led me to the bigger stuff. Starling. Even Jackdaw. How long before I'm on  Kestrels?! It's just a spiral .....

Sorry to have burdened you with this story.


Oh, god help me!!! Now I'm sat here, even now, thinking about Pied Wagtail Boxes!!! Is there no end to this .....?!