Thought Pat' Had Gone All 'Gypsy' On Us ....!

 I was up at Pat's farm yard, a few days ago now. Up there most days, actually. Gives me something to do, away from this thing / place and a bit of exercise just walking up there.

 Anyway, point is; As I've glanced over towards his bungalow, to see if his van's there, I've seen The Most incongruous thing! A fucking PortaLoo!!!

 Straight up! He's got this twin + sized fucking PortaLoo, parked right outside the bung'!

 I'm like; " WTF?! Is Pat' taking the ~ very expensive ~ piss here? Is he trying to make some statement about my own, lavatorial, leanings? "

 Nothing wrong in a man refusing to shit inside his own home, of course. God knows, I whole heartedly applaud it! But, what's suddenly shown him the light?

 And then, I never saw Pat' for days. Till I was up there the other evening, to order a bale of hay. Pat' was working with cement, in his front porch. As he worked and we chewed the fat, I was aware of this god awful noise occasionally emanating from within.

 Upon asking, Pat' explained it was " The Plumber. ". Fine. Brain thinks of man who fits water pipes in houses. Sorted. End of. On with general conversation.

 Some time later, Pat' wanted to show me something round the side of the house. And there he asked me if I wanted a shower tray. Ceramic one. I said I already had one. Fully installed shower system, in fact.

 He said he'd be skipping his old one then. The one leaned against the bath there. To which I strongly replied that he'd be fucking mad! Skip That lot? 

 " Listen, mate ..... " I said. " Get a fuckin' lump hammer first and knock those taps off! They'll be brass! And that rail, look. And those taps. And the handle on that loo there .....

 Put it all in a bucket and bury it away in ye small shed. Chuck any more ye get in there, as time goes on. "

 Then I told him a quick story about my old friend, Ron Lee. 'Ron and the Engine' we could call it. Ron taught me well. I taught Pat'. Then, I fucked off home. Having completely forgotten to ask him about that PortaLoo.

 Thought of it the next day though. Asked him if he was turning Gypsy. If not, why was he shitting outside of his living space. Of course, the answer would be obvious to you lot. But, it had escaped me completely!

 That Plumber was ripping out and installing an entire new 'bathroom suite' inside the bungalow. Then the whole family could get back to hunching down to drop their loads, just feet from where their food was prepared and eaten. Sharing the same air movement.

 I shook my head. And you people Blithely talk of " Dirty Gypsys " and " Ditch Shitters " ....? Shaking my head again, here. Can't comprehend it.

 Each to their own, I s'pose.