" Evil Little Dog " .....

  Pat's brought my hay down, the other day. And, there we are; Standing around in the stable, having a swift chat. I've just turned my back on him, to take a piss. And that's the moment he cunningly chose to strike.

  With a practised air of the oh so casual, I heard him breezily enquire:  " I don't suppose ye'd be interested in a Dog, would ye ....? "  But, I'm too good. I caught the tension underlying his words. Now what ....?!

  " What Dog? " I asked. Turning to study him. Already accepting that I was probably about to do my usual in these situations. Swear under my breath. Shake my head. Swear more heartily and demand " The fucking thing " be delivered to my gate.

  Yeah. I'm a mug for Dogs. Very seldom do I go looking for one ~ why the hell would I?! But, Dog in dire straits ....?  Just call me Oscar;  I want to save them all!

  So, anyway, at this juncture, I might suggest ye reacquaint yeself with This One.   And, yeah. That's the one Pat now wanted to shift. 

  Can't argue with his reasoning. His cattle had been mysteriously aborting, in his pens. That's his sole livelihood, right there! Obviously, he pulled out all the stops.

  Vet's did all the tests imaginable. Came back that it was some pathogen passed to the cowz, in the faeces of cats or Dogs. And ~ ye'd better believe me ~ there are No damn cats getting round Pat's place!

 Just his shitty, Evil Little Dog. Damn thing made a habit of wandering fifty yards, on its tiny little legs, just to shit near those cattle.  Dog had to go. Obviously.  So, of course, I said I'd take him.

  Not much happens at once, here, of course. So, we agreed I'd take Evil Little Dog.

 (God knows how I came to start calling him that! Just always have done. Response to his hilarious habit of coming sliding out of his 'car port' shelter, where his little house lived.

  Only, he'd literally drag himself out. Front legs walking. Back legs splayed out and limp. Dragging. All the time, shooting me crafty, coy little sideways glances. Mad fucking thing! LOL!)

  So, I was mentally chewing it over when I was giving Pat a hand to clear a ditch, days later. I had an inspiration then; Why didn't I knock up a proper chain rig?   Evil Little Dog could stay in his car port. Drag his body around in greeting. Just not shit near those cows!

  Pat said his kids, and " The Woman " (FFS! He must have been married to the lovely girl for forty years now. And still he refers to her as The Woman! LMFAO!) they wouldn't stand for it.

  So, I told him; Damn thing's not house broken. I'm not about to wake up and find it shitting all over my bed! Where the hell did he think I was gonna keep it?! Evil, shitty arsed little Dog. In fact; I suggested he ask his kids, and 'The Woman', to come up with a better idea.

  Well, today, over a week since Pat slid the question across in my stables, I was up his place on some errand.  I asked him about his plans. He was non-committal. Then, he finally said that Evil Little Dog would be going somewhere. And, he mentioned the local Dog Rescue ....!!!

  That was fucking It! (I never did get to tell ye about " Rag ", did I?) Well; That place is one of these " No Kill Shelters " that simply spirits Dogs out the back door, into The Van.

  It's common knowledge, locally, that the " Animal Welfare " emblazoned van is, weekly, ferrying 'rescued' Dogs to a 'No Qualms' Death House, over the way. There they summarily execute them.

  Need I say more? Evil Little Dog is curled up, a few feet away. In the terrier box I have at hand. Nice, snug bed. 74F in this room. Had a good feed of fresh, raw flesh. The others find Evil little Dogs diminutive size, coupled with feisty, snarly, snapping jaws, quite amusing!

  Poor little mite's mortified to be suddenly plunged into this world of giants. My lot are good natured though and used to little, tiny terriers. They'll soon accept eachother. Just a few days of gentle handling ahead now.

  Oh, and speaking of handling? Tonight, while out for their mid evening break, I idly wondered if Evil Little Dog still had his nuts on. So, absent mindedly, in the half light, I reached down and cupped his .......... Belly full of tiny nipples?!? :o

  The name'll stay though. " Evil Little Bitch " just doesn't sound the same!