I Couldn't Make This Up ....!

  So, I live alone here. With my Dogs and the horses. I seldom enough really even leave the compound now. Just wander the two or three hundred yards up to the post box. That's my lot. Heart's fucked and mortality's getting right on my fucking tits, with that 'Come to Daddy' look in his eye.

  At least I'm coasting gently, in my last years (?). It's generally tranquil here. Especially now that Summer's trying to break through, for its usual couple of weeks. 

  Dogs get to mince about, laying around catching rays. Eating grass. Evil Little Dog on a constant mission to search for and destroy Any fucking bird stupid enough to nest within her, thankfully limited reach.

  Me? I just potter about now. No one comes near me. They're all a bit far for me to go to, now. I was thinking how I could use a bench, half way up the track to the road. Somewhere to sit down and catch my fucking breath. Maybe be found one day .....

  But, yeah. It's cool. I'm living quietly. I'll likely die quietly. I just hope the Dogs have the sense to bite through the washing machine hose. That'll give them water, till somebody comes here and finds me.

  Could well be a couple of weeks. At least I'd be missed, if I didn't turn up in town, on my regular day. No one can hear me, down here, ye see. No one can see me.

   I'm half a mile from the road. Round a turn or two. Hundred and forty yards from my front gate, to the gate at the top of the home straight track alone.

  And that's why, today, as I was making some beer, running and pouring water. Sampling some I'd made earlier. Fancying a piss. I wandered out the front door. Stood at a right angle to the gate, gazing down at the stable. Got my dick out and pissed.

 And, even as that golden stream hit the ground. As my chest heaved with the sigh of relief. I sensed something else.

  Glancing over my shoulder ~ Un Fucking Believable!!! There was the white VW, screaming down the home straight like Bodie and Doyle were in it!

  The fucking Census Enumerator woman had chosen That exact, exquisite moment to come baring down on me. Straight at a ringside view of my with my cock in my hand!!!  

  You have Never seen me move so fucking fast!!!