I'm Having A 'Mare!!!

   Some hours ago; I'd just ate my dinner. Was sipping my nightly ration of Jameson. 

  Telling my friend, over the mike, what a full, busy and rewarding day I'd had.

  Right up to the bit where I'd pulled off some real 'Red Neck Ingenuity' in my snapper turtles tank.

  I'd put my snapper back in his tank Thursday night. Having fixed a leak that had mysteriously come about. 

  I'd put that one down to some sort of glitch in the matrix. Tank was hand made, by me. I've made loads of tanks. Never had a springer!

  Now, turtle was happy. I was happy. Filter was secured. Water was warm. I'd finally got a lump of meat out the freezer for him. (They can't eat when it's cold. Can't digest right) Shangri la, all round!

  Hour later? She'd gone about her business. I was sat here, feeling that warm glow of satisfaction. When I glanced over my shoulder and all fucking hell let loose!!!

  My, newly repaired, fish tank was pissing a Jet of water!!!


  Now, this fucker holds over fifteen gallons of water.  That much water is now saying 'Hullo' to my fucking living room!

  Incredibly; I'm good in these situations. I tend not to lose my shit. So, I'm actually over there, peering at this jet of water, hosing out of the bottom, front of my tank.

  I mean; There's a shit ton of water on the floor. Gonna be a shit ton more, before I ever get the buckets in operation. First things first. Identify Target.

  There's my snapper. Calmly laying on the bottom. Right where the leak is. And, mother of god all fucking mighty! Look at that fucking claw!!!

  I swear to god, people; If ye don't know what a snappers claws are like? Think about that comic character, " Wolverine ".


  I imagine; Piss him off and Shick!!! These ten inch long, razor sharp blades shoot out of his fists?


  Yeah, well; Snappers don't go " Shick!!! ". They just mince about with those fuckers! 


  And My fucker has, quite simply, got himself between a rock and a siliconed place. Gave it the fucking Samson at Dagon treatment and .....

   I was actually Looking at his fucking claw, deeply embedded in the Double Thick Layered silicone!!!


   Ninja Turtles? This boy's shit 'em! He'd gone through that shit like Toshiro Mifune!

   I'm in a world of pain and doubt, now.  So much has been going on here, behind the scenes. I'd planned to present the other end of this shit as a joyous series.