A Little Project I did, recently .....

   Pretty much writing this one for my boss, in honesty. Wanted to show him what I'd got up to. I'll chuck in some embellishment though, for anyone else who may not be as familiar.

  Basically then, le Ding finally shuffled off this mortal coil and so it was time for some very long planned changes.

  The most truly massive change will be to my snapper turtles accommodation. Put simply; Dingo Dog always slept on the foot of my bed.

  So, if I were laying there, I'd look down to my feet and there'd be le Ding. Beyond him was Balzac, in his cage. Behind him was a chest of drawers, on top of which sits Snapes tank.

  Now though, Balzac gets to sleep where he likes. Right now, he's in his cage, the door of which is always open now. But, I think he sneaks onto the bed at some point. What ever.

  Now, my 'bed' is a Futon. In case ye've been living in a cave for the last fifty years? That's a thin mattress. Laid on pallets. They have a zipped cover. Heavy canvass and eye wateringly costly.

  Dogs, over the years, had destroyed a few of these things. Digging and scratching at them. Hundred quid a throw. Fuck That!

Thus I'd taken to covering the futon with just about what ever I could ~ plastic and such. Anything, to keep mucky paws and diggy claws off.

  Now, everyone's up to pace then.

 And, I was about to put a brand new cover on this futon. Well, we all know that repeating the same action and expecting a different result makes one a cunt. So .....

Here's my futon

  That's a tons worth of brand new cover. I then put a brand new fitted sheet on it. But; Dogs.

 

  Best I could come up with, utilising what I had to hand, was a bit fucking Heath Robinson, to say the least!

 

   It was also, predictably, very fast getting old; Waking up each day to having to hump the fucking thing up against the wall and secure those bungee straps! The plank helped keep it up ~ a bit. But, fuck that!

 

    11:00 the wood arrived. I set to with a vengeance. I Knew I had to have it finished, before I could go to sleep.

 

 It was definitely a two man job. But, there's no one else here. Tough luck. So, I just had to suck it the fuck up and apply the principle my old, SAS mate had told me worked for him:

  

  " Pure bloody mindedness. " 

 

  I won't bore anybody with the finer details. Suffice to just say that I worked like a man possessed. 11:00 to 19:30. Never once stopping for a rest. 

 

  Due to size constraints in my little work shop, I was laying on the floor, horribly contorted, trying to drill holes while holding postures a yoga guru would have been impressed with.

 

  How much does thirty three foot of nine by one plank weigh, screwed together in six foot lengths? 

 

  God knows. But, I really had no fucking business shifting That between rooms and chucking it about! 

 

  I'm too old. Far too skinny. And the heaviest thing I've lifted in years has been a bucket of water! That fucking near killed me!

 

  In fact, I'm not in the least bit bothered to admit that, when I'd finished and sat in this chair, with an early ration of Jameson before me? 

 

  I hurt So Fucking Much. I was So physically and mentally exhausted, I could very easily of just sat here and cried!

 

  I'd, quite simply, given it everything I had. I think my mate would have mildly approved.

 

  Don't examine it too closely. It's more bodge than perfection. But, I'm an old rat catcher. Not a fucking joiner. It sure as hell does its job though!

 

  See the cunningly thought out little drop down side flap there? Mm. I have a gammy toe. Periodically gives me shit and I have to get my foots weight off it.

 

 To do that, I have to put my foot off the futon. Can ye imagine trying to sleep, with ye calf laying across a one inch board?! 😎

 

  And, when we get up of a morning? Couldn't be easier!  Just needs a little hasp now. And some Dog Mats 😀

   Worth all that blood, sweat and fucking near tears?

 

  Abso fucking lutely!!! Most rewarding and worthwhile little project I've ever done around here, I'd say.