How The Govt. Handle Badgers, In Eire ....?

Thought provoking! Read This and see where it leads ye .....

About last September, Pat' told me he'd had a letter to say the 'MAFF' (or what ever that sort of department is known as, round here) would be visiting his land, with a view to collecting samples of his resident badgers. This, obviously, to do with Bovine TB testing.

In due course then, this guy turns up and tells Pat how he's been setting these peculiar looking snares around the place. Obviously, having a pretty fair grip on the local brocks myself, I wandered around checking this guys handiwork ~ I swear; I never once interfered. I just looked. Mused and took photographs and measurements. Just trying to educate myself. Badgers are protected here too. So, they don't concern me, obviously.

Well, seems this guy caught a few. So Pat told me He told him. What Mr Maff did with them? I never even asked. I figured they'd be dispatched and laboratised for Tests. None of my business either. Right?

And that was months ago. Months and months. And I've still walked the same ground that I have for Years now. And I've watched the grass grow. The grass grow where, for two fucking years, there were badger run 'moterways'. Now there's just grass .....

The hole in the hedge, beside the track I walk my Dogs up is now closed over with grass. I've watched that grass grow. Idly wondering where the badgers have got to. The hard trodden, years old path along beside the hedge in the field opposite has all but vanished to the eye too. No more badgers pass this way. Not this year.

I met Pat, out on the land, a week or so back. I actually mentioned to him how I was seeing no badger sign. In fact, the very spot we were standing on used to be a regular badger run. Pat wasn't in the least perterbed. " Oh, no, " He brightly informed me; " Ye'll not see badgers this time of year. They're Hibernating! "

Yeppers. Middle of June. Everything in full swing. " They're Hibernating. " Reallity check, please!

Ok. As said; Badgers don't concern me. No more than fish do. But, aren't fish doing something to do with breeding, about this time of the year? I know for a fact everything else is! But, Pat confidently swears badgers are hibernating. Who am I to argue?

I don't argue with Pat. I fuck off and clean my horses out. Sort my Dogs. Get on with my own life. And run into Noel, tonight .....

My first question to Noel is; 'Does he know anything he'd like me to remove?'. Noel mentions the three Gray Crows. I assure him I too have them counted, and I explain my plans for them. All is cool. Then I mention the badgers. Where Are the badgers???

Now, let me just bring ye further into the picture here. These two, Pat and Noel, are as different as chalk and cheese. Pat is a little mole of a man. Never stops working. Needs everything just so. Obviously, likes to see the same in others.

Noel? On all fours he'd be the epitome of a toad. Perfectly happy to do no more than he needs. Surveyor, more than do shit abouter. Sees what he sees, what ever.

And, this evening, I asked Noel what He thought about the missing badgers. Noel fucked my head up.

" What I think, ", he drawled ~ if an Irishman can drawl? ~ " Iz dat te (Govt / MAFF) poyzens dem. " :o I'm like; WTF?!

As Noel pointed out, as we watched his sneaky, illegal bon fire; " That man comes out here. He catches some live badgers, in his special snares. And he takes them away to I don't know where. Where they Do Something to them. Maybe give them a disease? " I'm listening ....!

" And then, he brings them back here and lets them go. They go home and give that disease to all the other badgers. It kills them all. And That's why we have no badgers here any more. "

Fuck, Noel ....! :o



I happened to run into Pat, shortly afterwards. I told him what Noel thought. " Oh, No! " Insisted Pat. " They're Hibernating this time of year! Ye won't see any badgers now till September! ....."

Beginning to doubt myself completely, by now, I asked Pat one final question. Then hurried straight home to check Google, about badgers. I ignored all the biased shit under " Xbury Badger Group ". I checked out a couple of 'Zoology' type sites. Then it caught my eye; " Come and enjoy badgers at their most natural. Join our Badger Watching evenings. Weekly till September ..... "!

And that's when it all fell into place, with the last question I'd asked Pat; " Pat? Where in hell' ye getting this shit from? 'Badgers hibernate till September' ". And ye know what he told me, with equal conviction? " That 'MAFF' fella told me; When he came to snare some, last September! "


Draw ye own conclusions, people. Make ye own minds up. Believe who ye will. Pat. Noel. Our 'MAFF'.

Only, Believe ME; There's simply no more badgers left on My beat. Cattle country. Not since the 'MAFF' came through here, catching up samples.

Fuck!!!