Dogs; Expensive Fukka's!

le Ding; Laughing at me ~ Must think I'm a cunt!

I know that some of you reading this will know that I have " le Ding " with me. Originally known as " Dingo ", because that's really about as much as one can say about the damn thing; That he looks like a Dingo. But, I'm a bastard for settling on damn silly names for my creatures. Thus the poor bastard now gets referred to as " le Ding ". He actually answers best to " Ding, Ding " though; He'd be great fun at a fuckin' boxing match then!

Just to quickly recap on Ding's chequered career then, for those without a clue: Dingaling Dog was bred by a cunt. The guy was a cunt because he bred him, then considered he had no use for him! Sadly, while it's fine and dandy to shoot Dogs, we aren't allowed to shoot pricks like that. But, Happily, Ding got lucky. " Valantino ", of THL Forum, heard about him and took him home.

Trouble being there that Val' was already stocked up with fine Dogs. He didn't need another one so looked around for a permanent home for this one. Seems some cousin took a shine to and custody of the Dog. Great. Great, that is, till Val' finds himself in the area some months later and drops by to visit his old mate, Dingo Dog.

And that's when the story broke, on THL. Val' showed us the photo he took. My fuckin' eyes are burning at the memory of that damn photo and, if I don't just plough through this bit, I'll break down.

Poor fucking Dog was on a short chain, tied to an empty kennel box and surrounded by his own shit. His coat was disgusting and the poor little bastard was cowering, obviously expecting more of what he'd learned he'd get when a human came near him.

Val' unhooked him and put him in the motor, there and then. The rest is history. He still didn't need this mad mutt, but no way was he staying with the second rank cunt he'd known in his short life. So he asked, on THL, who would like a ~ by now fully recovered and back to his old self ~ happy go lucky, nutty as a fruit cake, bouncing bundle of energy who could only really be described as looking for all the world like a Dingo.

That must've been about a year ago now. He's made my own life more " Interesting " ever since! Life, with le Ding, has been a constant effort of wondering what he was doing. Dreading what he might be doing. Then finding out what he was Actually doing ~ and trying to devise a way of stopping him doing it again!

Ding' spent some quality time around horses, when he was with Val'. Thus he now has it imprinted in his tiny little mind that horses are great fun. Happily, my own one and my insane donkey are too laid back or insane to worry much about the bouncing yellow peril either. So they're fine with him.

However, le Ding can't seem to differentiate between horses, donkeys and cattle! Now, surely to god, if there was ever an animal put on this earth good for Nothing but doing away with and eating, it must be the Cow. I mean, what do they do? They stand about in fields. They trample far more good grass than they actually eat. They shit all over the place. They churn up mud. They try to get our Dogs shot. Then, finally, we kill the useless fuckers and eat their sorry corpses. Good fucking riddance!

And Ding has this thing about them. He figures they too are great fun to be around. Thus he tries to have a bit of craic with them. Maybe torment them a little, as he does the donkey. Ye've seen " Boratt in USA " ? Well, it's just like when he goes after Pamela Anderson, with his sack; Fucking mindless air head racing off towards the next county, udders bouncing as it bellows like the cunt that it is!

You ever seen an Irish cattle farmer who's just seen that go off? I have. I don't Ever want to see it again! And the cattle are due to be released any day now. Time I took the hint. Le Ding needs keeping under control.

Now, this Dog can jump about anything that gets between him and where he thinks it'd be good to get to. He also has this child like propensity to just wander off and get into mischief. I can't watch him every second of every day. I can't keep him locked up, in doors or in a pen. That'd be cruel. He's a fit little fucker and likes to run about. I Do chain him to a kennel box, when I have to go into town ~ he goes into Destruct Mode within five minutes, if left in here unattended. But, no way is he living his life on an eight foot chain either.

So, having had some experience in these things, I've sat here and pondered. I've looked out at the hundred and thirty plus yard length of the Home Acre, out there. I figured it out: I'd give him a 'Running Lead' set up. Length of the field. He can belt up and down it and torment the 'horses' when ever they get near. Lay around in the sun. Hide in his box, during rain. Scare the living crap out of anyone who comes near my top gate. Sorted!

And, with that simple enough solution in mind, I rolled into town today. Got lucky in the third and last store. They had a drum of just the right thickness of steel rope.Great! Without a thought or a care, I noted that it contained 200 yards ~ perfect. I'll be running him diagonally across the field later. Give the land a break and him a different view of things. Sauntered up to the counter and breezily enquired as to how much this entire drum was about to cost me.

I almost fucking shit myself!!!

Ye looking at a cool £300's worth of safe and happy Dog!