What Have I Shot?

I got asked this, in e mail, the other day. Again, this seems to be a question of perennial interest to my fellow gun owners; What we shoot with them. Ok. To save anyone else asking; Here's the score.

To date, having had the new rifle about a month? I'm yet to fire it at a live target. (Shock, horror! Ditch has had this exquisite gun all that time and he hasn't killed anything with it yet???) No. I haven't. And, if ye think that's fucked up? How fucked up does that make You?

I have a Power Saw out there. Brand spanking new. Bought that a short while ago too. Never even taken it out of the box yet. I have no pressing need to cut wood just now. I have a drill, yet I don't run around making holes. I buy these Tools for when a Job presents itself.

See, I'm a Pest Controller. Not a " Hunter " or even a 'Sportsman'. My idea of fun doesn't particularly include tramping about with a loaded gun, looking for something to fire it at. I do like carrying my gun. But, that's because the very fact of having it with me has an extremely marked effect on my own conciousness.

With that gun on my shoulder, I'm a different animal. I move with stealth. I'm alert to the slightest movement around me. My whole being is tingling with an electrical sense of alertness.

Upshot is that I spot tons of stuff I must be missing when I'm just walking up the track, going about some mundane errand. I spot the little bird trying to creep away from its nest in the hedge bank. I tune in to the disquiet of a Blackbird two fields away. I stop to observe a distant speck; Thus getting a better fix on the territory of a neighbouring pair of Gray Crows.

Hour or two of simply being out there, with my rifle, is the best damn relaxant I know. I never fail to come back feeling totally at peace with the world and freed of all stress. I've also, often as not. learned something new about my local environment. Added another small piece to the jig saw.

That said, I fully intend to use it for what it's all about. Only my quarry are amongst the most crafty bastards out there. My intended victims now are Hooded Crows and Feral Cats. Each, in my experience, about as fucking vile and sneaky as they come. Figure in the fact that I need my crows on the ground, with a safe shot. And I'm also talking daylight cats? I've got my work cut out!

What about foxes? Well; What about foxes? Fuck foxes! I'm leaving any more foxes alone. I shot the only damn fox I ever saw around here with my other rifle. Just because someone mentioned they'd seen one. What was the point???

I ever get reports of a muscle bound fox taking down cattle round here? I'll take him out. Meanwhile, I haven't and hardly expect to. So why in hell should I go around, taking it out on foxes? There's nothing for them to harm around here and I have nothing to prove. Foxes are 'Off'. So are Jackdaws and Rooks, just for the record. Those poor things are so trusting, ye could knock them off with a catapult. So what?

And there ye just about have it. Ok? Ditch has a lovely new rifle. Ditch goes out with it. One of these days, Ditch'll blow some things lungs out with it. And then what? Ye expect me to plaster this place with fucking photo shots of a blown up corpse?

Just ask yeself; Since when have I ever been into displaying photo's of the creatures I've had to shoot? Ye want to see dead things, shot with big guns? Fine. Get yeself a gun and go out there and shoot something yeself. Only, please don't bother me with ye trophy photo's. I'm not interested.

'Nuff said?