This Is Rank As Fuck!!!

Ohhh, jesus fucking wept! I've hardly been on line an hour and I come up with Just the sort of thing I want to talk about ~ THIS is the sort of shit that I can only imagine makes me of such interest to others? Shit that just seems to Happen to me! Here's the craic .....

For a few days now I've been aware of a whiff in my kitchen. I mean, we're talking Bad here. Has to be, doesn't it? Like that time I left some steamed Brussel Sprouts in my cupboard ..... for about a month! Remember that one? Well; This beats the shit out of it! This is fucking Harsh!

So, I've got this smell. It's emanating from my sink. Yeah? Now, being an old, isolated Irish farmstead, I have no plumbing to speak of. This sink has only a single, cold tap. And that tap drains into some sort of soak away ~ I guess. Figured there must be something down there got a bit bacterial. No problemmo. I slung some disinfectant down the plug hole a night or two back.

Maybe it's me? But, I wasn't so aware of the stink by today. What I was aware of was the fact that my Land Line phone is due to have been connected by tomorrow. Thus, in anticipation, I'd rung myself on my mobile the other day. Got an engaged tone sound. Today I got the ringing sound. But no phone ringing.

See, I have this weird little phone I brought with me. I've plugged it into the phone socket and have charged it up. It's sat out there, in the kitchen. Won't ring though. So I reckon there's something (Oh, this fucking stink is doing my head in here! No Way can I eat my dinner with This!) I reckon there's some button I've not hit. But which button?

Now, I'm a fucker for Manuals. I always read them. Then I keep them. I've been actively looking out for an A4 sized box file. Somewhere I can store all my stacks of manuals for things I have here. Haven't found one yet. But I thought maybe I could find the phones manual somewhere about this cottage.

Like most of us blokes then, I have a vague idea where I put things. I know I keep some manuals in the 'cutlery' draw of my sink unit. Uh huh. Sink stink? Now we're getting to talk about the drawer in the sink unit? You wait!

Sooooo ..... I pop open the drawer. I look down at the usual contents. Stack of manuals. Some bunches of Dog fur (I can explain that! I brush my Dogs out and stick the fur in the drawer. I save it up, through winter, to put out for the birds. They take it for nesting material. Still got some in there) And the usual crap one puts in ones 'Kitchen Drawer' down the years. Ball of string. Pair of brass hinges. Ye know the sort of shit.

Only, I don't quite remember this brown fur. In fact, it reminded me of young robins feathers. I couldn't quite get a make on it and my mind sort of went into over ride. Alarm bells were ringing. I somehow found myself heading straight out the door with this drawer in my hands.

Then I saw the fucking Maggots! And the wet, leathery, black skin! Ah, jesus! Oh my fucking christ! It was a Dead Fucking Rat!!!

No shit! I've got this well rotted down, maggot crawling fucking rat, right there in my own kitchen draw! Fuck knows how he got in there. Obviously took the bait I regularly put down around here ~ but outside, for chrissake! I can only imagine this bastard came in somewhere round where the waste pipe goes out. I'll have to check tomorrow.

Right now I'm calling a cab; See if there's anywhere I can eat out tonight. No fucking way can I stomach eating in here. The rat's long gone, but this stench is still burning my nostrils!

This is the actual shot I originally took with my new phone!
This was in my fucking drawer!