Anyone Want A Magpie ....?

Damndest thing. I'd been watching a robin hopping around the perimeter of my aviary for some time now. Obviously looking for scraps of minced meat slung out by the magpies. Hopefully more savvy than to have ventured in through the little hole the Dogs have scratched out there, after the same thing.

Poor little wren did that. I thought the male bird had the robin at first. When I went out there, the poor little bundle of feathers was a wren. Sans head. that's nature for ye. 'Pies are captive and can't impinge on the wider environment. So, what does the fucking wren do ....? Darwin Award!

Anyway, it was that robin that got me thinking I should let it have a little peck of that good meat. I knew, if I put a bit on the ground, where he haunted, the Dogs would snaffle it. So, I started putting a pinch on a fence post, beside the aviary.

In no time, it was being gone by the time I got off my back. But, something started clicking that this meat always went between nightfall and noon. I started wondering about rodents. Maybe just because those fuckers are never far from my mind?

So, I kept putting this pinch of meat out and waiting for the robin. Nuffn. Yet, it even started disappearing between noon and evening. Without me so much as spotting the robin. What the .....

And there I am. Stood right there in my window. Looking at that blob of meat on the fence post top. I'm literally thinking; " I wonder what the fuck's taking that ..... " Swoop! Flash! Gone! The most immaculate, male magpie! Muvva fukka just came down from the right. Hit the post. Peck. 'Thankyou!' Exit, stage right. Wow!

Of course, I could take him. Dead or alive. In minutes. Mag's are a piece of piss to catch. Hardly a challenge, is it? Nor is this bird a threat. He'll just be picking off carrion and anything that Needs to be removed from the pool.

So; There he is. Dean O's mentioned how he'd like a mag' or two. I asked him if he wanted this one. He asked where he'd keep it. I said " Build it a fucking flight cage?! ". Dean O' didn't answer.

He's up for grabs. I can take him any time. You can have him. But; First I want convincing that ye have suitable accommodation for him. And that ye'll care for him like any other POW deserves to be looked after. In fact, he'll need treating like a pet. Fed. Watered. Cared for and respected. Any takers?

£10 says he'll still be accepting my pinch of meat, off that fence post, come next 'spring'. (Natural death for either of us notwithstanding). Because no fucker has it worked out.