Pat' Never Knew .....

 How close he'd come ....!


I was mouching about in one of his hedges, this afters. I'd just been up to see Pony, and check a couple of my nest boxes, and was working my way along a nice hedge, on the way home.

 As this hedge thrust toward me across a deep and unforgiving ditch, I was extremely aware that one false step could send me down, riding the mare of blackthorns. Face first.

 That'll be why, when my phone rang, in my pocket, I nearly fucking shit myself and suffered a cardiac, all at once.

 It was Pat'. I said I was close by and, as he wanted a hand with something, I turned straight back to the road and was with him in no time. My heart still pounding like firing pin of an Uzi.

 Turned out he just needed an extra pair of hands as he rigged up a fresh bit of electric fencing, down on the Bog. Power was off, so no problems there then. Off we went.

 Pat' asked me to pull this length of plastic sleeving to a corner post. I duly did that. Then I stood there, gazing around me, thinking of Bird Boxes and nests, as I waited.

 Not knowing what I was supposedly waiting for, I looked for Pat'. There he was, buried in some rough cover, the other side of the fence. No doubt fiddling about with wires and connectors. Getting what ever he'd come here for done.

 My mind began to drift ..... Always a danger sign that. Keep me focused on birds and their nests and I could bore for Ireland with what's going through my head. Let me go into myself? Fuck knows what's gonna come out.

 I wandered down to where Pat' was now working on my side of the fence. His back to me. I heard myself, in my head, preparing to very casually ask him;

 " Pat'? You ever had any problem with the word; Moist ....? " And, I knew, Pat', being engrossed in his work, wouldn't hear me the first time. He'd say, " What's that? ". And I'd repeat, " Moist. "

 Already, I was smiling. I thought of how Pat', brilliant guy though he is, would simply have no possible concept of the world we inhabit, through our computer screens.

 Pat' lives in a world where only cattle need concern him. His kids would have computers. " The Woman " would handle that sort of thing. Pat' thinks only in terms of his beloved cattle. " Moist "? He wouldn't get it .....

 I thinks he's getting a handle on me though. Because, by the time he turned round, to find me staggering about the Bog. Completely helpless and doubled over. Tears of silent laughter streaming down my face as I struggled to breath .....

 Pat' the Leprechaun simply cocked an eyebrow as he peered at me with a dubious look in his pale, blue eyes. Half smiled, as he shook his head. And muttered, " Jesus! "

 But; He never knew how close he'd just come ....!