Nigger, RIP. Long Live Balzac!!!!!

If I made up the shit I'm about to tell ye? Ye'd be ~ justifiably ~ saying; " Shut up, ye prick! You hallucinating? Or just think We're all completely fucking stupid?! "

  When Did Niggy die? .......... No. I'm sorry. I really, absolutely haven't got a fucking clue! Come to that? What the fuck Day is it, today?!  I fucking swear to ye; Put a gun to Pesticles head and I Genuinely wouldn't have the vaguest notion. I Genuinely Don't Know!

  All I know is; Things got bad here. I finally lost poor Niggy. He was in the ground that same day. I posted here. People sympathized. I lost control of the place .....  Maybe I just 'Lost Control, completely? I've really no idea.

  I just remember last night / early hours of this morning. Laying there, on my futon. Arm around the sleeping Pesticle. And all I can think about is a Dog. I Need another Dog!

   Maybe it's that four is my magick number? Maybe I was just sick of glancing round for 'The other one'. when I let them out. Missing. 

  And, I'm fucking laying there, and all I can think of is a free ad's site. I'd pondered Pounds. Local one are a bunch of cunts. That's why I went all the way to Louth, for Niggy.  Not really in the financial position go go taxiing around the fucking country again.

  Couldn't sleep. Just laying there. Staring through the ceiling. A Dog. A Dog. A fucking Dog ....!

  Pesticle woke up. She seemed ready to get up. So I did. God knows what the time was. I never even glanced at the clock. Turned the machine on. Fuck THL, the Irish Forum. What I term as 'Reading the Papers' 

  I Literally googled straight to the free ad's. Dogs. Connaught. Started scrolling through page after page of Cockapoo's. Cavichons. Collies. Collies. Collies! Fucking Collies!!!!! Swiftly diverted my eyes from any Black Lab types .....

  And then, I found him! What A Fucking Dog!!! Eleven month old " Crossbred ". Few miles from here. No price. Described as " Watchful, but playful. "

  Fantastic looking creature! Had a Lot of that Husky thing going on. TALL, Rangy, Long legs ....!  But; They were as thick as mine!!!

  He reminded me of le Ding. My beloved ~ sadly Not so fucking spring chicken now! 'Secret Weapon'.  Same, pointy ears. That Malinois  thing going on, with the head and face. But .....

  Absolutely Stunning creature! Those Legs! Like fucking tree trunks! The legs of a Bear!

  And the fucking Skull on him!!! It was like someone had taken a boulder, Then just added these pointy ears. A pair of sweet eyes. And stuck a pointy muzzle on the front. To make a Dogs face out of it. 

  But, fuck me! What a Dog!!! 'Thanks for all the calls. Only after six.'  I could barely believe he'd still be available. I figured I'd have to wait till 18:01 to call. 

  I scrolled on. Thinking about that absolute specimen of a Dog. Then, I read what I'd honestly and genuinely never believed I'd Ever fucking see in print! le Dingo's breeding!!! Some cunt had actually gone and fucking repeated the crossing that produced my Legendary Dog!!!

  And there were Two fucking males available. Eight weeks old!!! I swear to fucking god; I was shaking!

  And, that's where is all sort of got 'emotional'! My mind was absolutely Ravaging itself! I wanted a Dog. Not an eight week pup, FFS! And that Beast of a thing ....! These pups favoured the cut of the bitch too. Le Ding favours the sire .....

  I went out and rung some late starling chicks. I had a sly beer. I rang my Boss and babbled, and enthused, and back peddled, and ran shit past the both of us. All the time, looking at that Animal, which one could have called " Bodie ".

  And this pair of identical, two month old babies. One of which could possibly become " Balzac ". The continuation of, quite simply, one of the finest Dogs I've ever owned. Quite possibly the Last one I'll ever own!

  It was those legs that finally did it. And that subtly massive, fucking head. It was Very subtle! Crafty as fuck. If ye didn't know ye Dogs inside out? That thing might well have seemed like a Husky / Malamute / Fuck Knows, to ye.

  Naah. I cracked it! Fucking Akita in that mix! Jap or Yank? They're both all over here now. And That fucking thing was likely half bred. Husky / Akita? Very possibly! 

  And ye think I'd be bringing an eleven month old speed freak, crossed with a psychotic schizo anywhere Near this happy fucking house?! No! Slow and ageing Ding. Soft as a marshmallow Pesticle? Fuck knows about Evil Little Dog!

But, I'd soon be burying Another fucking Dog here. Before shooting the one coming up the chain at me. And dumping the cunt in the ditch!

  Let That fucker get flogged on as somebody else's problem. This is mine:

  Getting to grips with the cuteness overload which is sleeping under my desk!!!

  That's " Balzac "! Expect to soon be sick and fucking tired of the photo's, films and reports on him! 

  If I weren't a more level headed type? Shit like this would possibly have me wondering if there really Are Gods out there!