I've Reset My Virginity!

  With the amount of stress and fucking misery in my life, of late, I thought how I don't want this place turning into some litany of woe. But, reasons to be cheerful aren't exactly abounding, right now.

  Anyway, it occurred to me that I never mentioned one, absolutely stellar, life changing, mega event that sprung itself on me, a short while back. Thought I'd mention it here. Try to brighten the place up a bit.

 As most, on THL, will know; I'm a licensed Ringer. I'm trained and authorised and it's now, pretty much, 'What I Do'. Been at it years, now. I love it!

  I'm doing my bit for science. It keeps me out of mischief. And, my obsession with Starlings and putting up nest boxes for them is empirically proving to strengthen the local flock. Year on year.

 I ringed Eighty young, this year! When I got here, the entire flock only numbered that!

  When not getting drenched in starling shit though, I both hunt for nests and also put out cage traps for small birds. When my boss (my Trainer) comes up here, we have the mist nets out, and there's no telling what might get into them.

 The most memorable bird I've ever handled and processed was a Tree Creeper. In ye hand, that bird is just mind bending! It's like a little, many faceted jewel! The brilliance and beauty of the colours just blow ye away.

  I've proven quite good at finding Black Caps nests. Amazing how many there are, just around my place. But, believe it of not, the one bird I've had an absolute hard for, for all these years, is the Wood Pigeon! Yes! I dream of finding a woodies nest, so I could ring the squabs.

  Trouble is, woodies are borderline Uncommon, in Leitrim! One year, I saw a flock of Five. That was a Red Letter Day! Amazing sight!

  It's not that though. Something in me has just clicked for a woodie. A nest would be my only chance at one. And such nests would be Very few and far between. Still, ye've got to have a dream.

  So, a while back, I'm chatting to the boss. Trying to come up with more ways of catching more birds. We decided I'd have nothing to loose by putting down some of my waste canary seed, out on the track. In view of my window.

  This I did. And was soon gratified to start seeing small seed eating birds coming to it. Then, the other week, I bought a couple of kilo's of generic, " Wild Bird Food ". Plenty of bigger sorts of stuff in it. I started using that instead. Just a cup full a day.

  Eventually, knowing the track was safe from 'surprise visitors', I decided to put a couple of Potter Traps out there. Small, very basic cage traps. Wire mesh box that the bird walks into and the door comes down.

  Sitting here, minding my own business. Drifting round the fora. Glancing out every five minutes or so. Figuring I'd probably end up with one of the small band of chaffinches that so like the seed. Finished reading a post. Stood up. Looked out. Shit myself!

  There's only a fully grown, absolutely genuine, fucking great Wood Pigeon out there!!! And he's enjoying my seed, as he wanders round and round the two back to back traps! Please God ....!

  It was murder, because, with how the traps were arranged, when he walked round the back and down past one, it Looked like he was walking Into it! But, nothing happened and he'd wander right around them again. Pecking up seed as he went.

  Eventually though, I actually stood here and Watched as that beautiful muvva fukka walked right into one of my traps! The door came down. He gave a little jump. And I was Screaming at the Dogs to get in here, as I did a Usain Bolt for the gate!

  The rest is history. The feeling of just opening my hands, and hearing the " Clap! Clap! Clap! " of his wings, as he flew away? Just indescribable!

  I was shaking and breathless, when I rang my boss. What an experience! As I said to him; I'd finally 'lost my wood pigeon virginity'! At last! Mission accomplished. I was Glowing!

  Then, I said I needed a New 'Holy Grail'. Something else to day dream of ever getting to process. Something we get here. That could fit into my larger Potter Traps. And which it would just be an absolute rush to have the privilege of  Processing.

  Male Sparrow hawk might seem the obvious. But, I passed over them without hesitation. With a steely eye gazing off into the future. I just Knew which bird I must reset my virginity to.

   And, with the strangest of ironies, for a retired, rural pest controller; Would ye believe, the next 'Bird of My Dreams' is a Hooded (Gray) Crow?!? 

 Yep! Killed them, out of hand, all these years. Now, the thought of processing one and letting it go, with my ring on? Makes my mouth go dry!

 I've moved the traps aside, for now. Because Pat's coming down the track quite a bit. But, this evening, I glanced out there and my heart nearly stopped!

  YES! Stood there, right in front of my unset traps, eyeing up the bird feed. Gray fucking Crow!!!

  Game on!!!