I Think I'll Do The Lottery ....!

 Jesus Fucking Wept! How lucky was That?!?

I've had some bird traps out on the track, all week. Only, Pat's due down here. So, I just went out to fire and move them out of the way. They're like wire mesh boxes. Called " Potter Traps ". (I'm a licensed Ringer, for anyone unaware of that)

  So, I've fired them. Then started picking them up and putting them aside, by the gate post to the meadow. Reaching under the bungy cord that's actually an electric gate way.

  And, my bare arm (I have the right to bare arms too!) brushed the bungy. A moment later, I realised what had just happened. Consternation ensues!

  I've checked the switch on the post. Fine. I've come in here and looked at the control box. Evil, orange light flicking, as it sends a massive pulse of jolts down that fence line. Something's wrong, somewhere.

  Grabbed my Fence Tester and went out there. Horror of Horrors!!! The tester lit up like Blackpool Illuminations ~ pre Sharia! Fucking great Thump coming down the line, every short second.

  And I'd just brushed it, with my bare upper arm. And fuck all had happened!

  By some fucking miracle, my skin had touched that vile torturer in the split second between those massive, Fucking Painful, full power jolts!!!

  How lucky was that?!? I wouldn't voluntarily touch that fucking thing again for fifty quid! Might buy a lottery ticket though! Must be my lucky day!