Witchcraft!

  This is Totally fucked up, right? This has done my fucking head in! I wasn't brought up to this shit.

  So, I have a friend, in New Zealand. Okay? Her handle's " Kinks ". Well, 'Kinky', actually. She tried to join a forum as " Keekie Dee " and auto correct fucked her.

  Anyway, I got banned from the chat room we met in. (Yeah, imagine that; Me getting banned from anywhere the public fucking gather!)

  But, we'd already exchanged email addys, so were able to get in touch. Hold that thought .....

  Now then; My phone is on Vodafone. Long since become the most disgusting fucking network in the entire world.

 'Customer Service' now amounts to me taking a forty quid taxi trip into the next county over. Longfordistan. And, only during shop hours, of course.

  But, I digress. My price plan allows me to make all the calls I like, within the Republic. But, I can't call shit forty miles up the road, over the border.

  Well, yesterday is a blur. Frankly. I got up at some stupid hour. Dawn, or something. Spent the whole day, seemingly, ripping Micky's fucking 7 out of this machine.

  So, yes; 'Fuck you and goodbye, Microsoft!'. I am now coming at ye from Linux! " KDE5 ", to be precise. And it's fucking brilliant! 7 was. But, they're shutting that one down and FUCK 10!!!

  Anyway, so, that thought? Kinks and I being in touch? Couldn't sit and type at eachother, in a chat room. Fuck trying to exchange emails! We liked to Talk. Not send fucking letters!

  And, that's how I somehow came up with " Telegram ". A Russian based IMS type thing. I guess it might be a bit like that Skype? Wouldn't know. Never touched Skype.

  So; We both have mike's. We both got Telegram downloaded. We've spent the past year yakkering our fucking heads off, most nights. Absolutely free!

  Only, Linux has a teething dispute with Telegram and I couldn't get Sound on it! Watching video's in grim silence. And Kinks was due!

  Honestly don't even remember exactly what I did. But, I somehow managed to download Telegram onto my phone.

  Now, this is fucked up! Kinks hit me, on here. The little box popped up and made its noise. I clicked it. Heard nothing, obviously.

  So I typed something like; " Hang on, Kinks. On Linux and no sound from this. " Then ..... I don't even remember what I did! 

  I'd had a ridiculously long and stressful day. I was absolutely exhausted, and yes; Just a Teensy bit pissed as a fucking hand cart!

  But, I distinctly remember doing Something, and hearing Kinks blaring out of my Phone!!! And she's in fucking New Zealand!!! Like; WTF?!?

  So, I stuck my headphones in and we chatted merrily away for a couple of fucking hours! On my Phone! For absolutely fuck all!!!

  What fucking Witchcraft is this?! I can't ring my brother, in england. " You do not have enough credit to make this call. " 

  Yet, using the Telegram App. ~ completely free! ~ I can talk to the other side of the fucking world, all night long, and it doesn't cost me a cent!!! 

  How fucked up is That?!?