Finnish Skin's .....

Bit of snow always seems to remind me of this one. I've told it before. But, there are people reading this who won't have heard it. So .....

Must have been around twenty five years ago now. It was snowing, back in england. Fancying a dinner time shant though, I trudged out to my then local. Stepped into the small, Lounge, bar to find a middle aged woman sat there, alone, at the bar.

Nothing particularly exciting about her. Only, her manner of dress rather caught my eye. Looked like she was wrapped in Arctic Fox. Real fox fur too. Looked nice and I said so ~ careful to imply, by intonation, that I genuinely admired it. Wasn't some fucking idiot about to throw a pint at her, just for wearing dead animal skins.

And so we fell into quite an easy conversation. And that's how I learned what I'm about to tell you; About the Finnish Skin's of the early 1980's. " Skin Heads ", that is.

Seems Finland isn't exactly London, Paris or New York, if ye see what I mean? Not the most pressingly vibrant and pace setting place. This girl should know that. She'd been born there. Just got back from attending a family funeral there.

Her dense fur wrapping had then been more a matter of survival than fashion. Finland, while we had five inches, was getting its more customary fuck knows what below, C. And the fashion for being a Skin Head had finally reached them. Good decade past our time, maybe. But it was all the rage.

So; There it is. Temperatures like - 40. Fucking snow drifts that would, quite simply, destroy england. And the youth of Finland has caught up with the idea of Doc Marten boots. Levi jeans. And # 1 Crops. Talk about a bad moment!

But, of course, youngsters being what they are, the whole culture had to be embraced; Preferably in half inch red or black. Personally, I never did find a Harrington jacket the warmest of fucking things either. But there we are. 'Needs must'. And so they had to. It was the latest fashion. And what self respecting youth would be seen dead without the latest gear? Even in sub Arctic temperatured fucking Finland?

And so they weren't seen dead without it. Though more than enough were seen dead whith it! I mean, let's face it? Finland? If a nuclear bomb went off there today it'd hardly make Sky News, would it? No surprise then that we never got to hear about the carnage that went on out there back then.

Seems the craic was that these young lads would don all the right gear, then shave their heads off to the bone. That done, they, of course, became the living epitome of 'Well 'Ard'. And off to the Disco, in the nearest town, they'd go. There to meet up with their Mini Skirt wearing girl friends.

Yeppers. The girls had discovered the mini shirt. More than that ~ and here a man can't help but feel a certain pang ~ Their own fashion was to wear them with Stockings and Suspenders underneath!!! (Steady, that man!) All came together to cause quite the national tragedy, apparently. Seems these youngsters would set out, all aglow. Do their thing at the disco. Then head out, into the unbelievably cold outdoors, to catch the bus home. And buses, in Finland, are much what we'd be used to; Never exactly 100% reliable at the best of times.

Result? Bus got delayed by a bit too long and the driver would find himself treated to the spectacle of a young man, writhing on the floor, screaming blue murder whilst clutching his head!

Skin Head, see? No hair. No hat, in order to better show the world how 'well 'ard' he was. So, unfortunately, was his Brain Fluid becoming, at that point! Frozen well 'ard! Entire old napper turned into a fucking ice cube. Quite the way to go, so I'm told.


Oh, and those delicious young girls, flashing that trouser tenting area of milky, upper thigh? Fucking legs fell off! I shit ye not! My informant told me she was astounded at the number of young women scooting about in wheel chairs. Thighs frost bitten to buggery, to the extent that amputation was their only hope.

And there it is. News to us, of course. But then, like I said above; Finland? Drop a bomb on the place and We wouldn't get to hear about it. But, I did. Through a chance meeting with a Fin. A sensible one. Wrapped up warm. Wise girl.