Memories .....

  So, I'm out the ditch, today. Glorious fucking day. Sun's shining. Pesticle's just scarfed down a good breakfast of her special grub. I'm at peace with the world. And, I'd probably just been watching some pretty fucked up shit on line too. As is my want.

There I am then, gazing up through the sun dappled leaves, dropping my guts, and letting my mind drift happily. I thought things in the Gypsy language. I thought back to the times when I knew people I could  talk to, in Gypsy.

  Inevitably then, I thought of Her. How we could communicate, freely and fluently, openly, yet secretly, in a crowded room. I thought about how, a decade or so back, word had reached me that she'd love to get back in touch. And I thought of what she did.

  Forty years ago, this was. We were together, then. Living together as a couple. Probably sharing love and libido in about equal measures. She had ten years on me. But, was thus a woman in her prime. I was a young buck.Well matched.

  Looking back? I s'pose we, basically, couldn't keep our hands off eachother. Bang at it on the drop of a hat. " Any time. Any place. Anywhere. " Spontaneous and frantic.

 At night, in bed though, at least things could Start more relaxed and gently. And, I guess, looking back? I've really always been a gentler lover. I liked to ease into the actual business. The porn film stuff could kick off, once we were fired up.

  I remember snuggling up against her back. Nuzzling and nibbling her neck. The trace of perfume warm and pleasing. Her auburn hair warm against my lips. My fingers brushing her thigh. My hardness pressing against her, from behind. 

  A gentle, urgent announcement. A request. Moving my hips rhythmically. Firmly. Are we both as ready ....?

  Then, she let rip with The Most fucking disgusting fart!!! The noise was like a sustained burst from a twin Vickers fucking machine gun! "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP ". Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

  No stench, thank god. But, the sheer level and force of wind expellation, coupled with the proximity? It bitch slapped my poor dick like a boxers fucking speed bag! The most revolting feeling I've ever experienced. Before or since!

  It led to an exchange of words. From me, at least. She couldn't breath for fucking laughing! Dirty cunt.

So, yeah; I know ye likely still out there, Mo'. Ever read this and ye'll know. At least I too can laugh about it now. Took me forty fucking years though! 

Scarred me for life, that did. FFS.